Changing during basic training?

Question

My now ex boyfriend got back from basic about a week and a half ago. We ended up breaking up once he got home. In all his letters and phone calls he seemed so excited to see me. But when he came home, i saw another side of him. He was cold and distant. Frankly, he was a real a** to eveyone.

I know in basic they break you down. And i knew that he would need time to adjust to being home. But why is it that so many people change so much after basic? And why did he all of the sudden get to be so mean to others?

him and i dated for 8 months. and we commonly talked about marriage. he said he wanted to propose to me sometime this year. Its like a 360 degree turn. i dont get it!?! Help?

Answer 1

Get over him and go out with somebody else.  You'll be much better off and you won't slowly drive yourself insane.

Answer 2

Two of my brothers are in the army and from the day they left for basic til this day they are the some ppl, he just thinks his **** don't stink, move on and live your life!  

Answer 3

Boot camp changes people differently, but they teach us discipline, and integrity and NOT TO TRUST PEOPLE, have no emotions, iron things out with him, but just ask your self, do you want him to be emotionally weak when he goes to iraq?

Answer 4

He was a @$$ before he left for Basic...you just didn't notice it. Basic is not that bad and hard core. They don't "break you down" anymore. It is a freaking cakewalk these days, compared to what I had to go through back in the day. Trust me, he doesn't have PTSD from Basic...the Drill Sergeant didn't yell at him that much.

My guess is that he thinks he is a "badass" now and has to act like the tough @$$hole and try to intimidate people.

Answer 5

Everyone changes if you don't like I'd stay away from men that are going in

Answer 6

Basic training isn't "hard core" any more. He didn't get broke down that bad, and might just be putting on a show to make everyone think he is a bad a**. It's probably just best if you let him go do his thing and don't dwell on it too much.

I'm in the military, so don't think I'm just bashing him. I've seen people with real PTSD, and they didn't get it from basic training.

Answer 7

I am thinking that maybe he has made a change in his life the he wants to be alone. Majority of the time when guys go into the military they feel alot of pressure from their friends to do things like a single guy would. In a way he is just trying to let you know this. It isn't right the way he is going about it though. And yes, he sounds like he is being a jerk about it. Typical selfish jerk guy attitude.

You need to give him some space to think about what he really wants. You give yourself some space and give him some too.

Good luck

Answer 8

Sorry to tell you this, but it's nothing that basic training did. A lot of people come out with this idea that they are automatically awesome. They have this idea that they can do anything and everything. They think they're Billy Bad A** out there, that they can kill anyone and that they're so awesome that they don't need to worry about being nice to anyone.

People like that are essentially people who have nothing going in their lives; once they enlist, they take on the persona of all the members who went before them.