Changing my stepdaughters last name and adopting her?

Question

before my husband and i got married he had shared custody of his 4 yr old daughter. she moved in with him last october. and eveyother weekend she was able to visit her mom with my husband supervised for as long as needed. it always lasted an hour or shorter mom almost never showed up. about 2 weeks ago mom passed away(od) and my husband and i just got married last saturday. He has wanted to change his daughters last name to his well know ours but he needed moms signiture so know how do we go about doing this? do i need a death certificate or just the obituary? we also talked about me adopting her and i would LOVE to! so how would we go about doing all this stuff? if u need more info please fell free to e-mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 1

Adoption law varies state by state.  There is a self-help legal press in Berkeley, CA, called Nolo Press.  I don't know if they would cover this for all states, but would suggest them for general background.  You will need an attorney.

Answer 2

Your husband can file papers to have her name legally changed, and yes, you can adopt her if your husband agrees. It would be easier to do both at the same time, and you shouldn't even need an attorney - the adoption papers will have a section for changing the name. Contact your courthouse and ask if they have any information on step-parent adoptions. My local courthouse will send you papers ready to file, just fill in the appropriate names. There are also forms available online - just google "step parent adoption" and the name of your state. You will need the mothers death certificate, not an obituary, but that should be no problem to obtain through your state health department when it becomes available (might be a few more weeks). Whoever made her funeral arrangements may have already ordered a few copies to handle any other legal issues, so they might be willing to give you a copy.

Answer 3

The best advice is to get a lawyer to start adoption proceedings.  If your husband were to pass away, then who would get custody of the little girl would be up in the air even if she has lived with you.  This way you and her are protected against the future unknowns

Answer 4

Sorry I don't have an answer for you but I think your story is really touching and I hope all goes well for you, your husband and that little girl!!

Answer 5

You need to hire an attorney to get all the paperwork filed with the courts.  It's not a difficult process, especially since mom isn't in the picture, but it takes time and paperwork.

As dumb as this sounds, you need to make sure mom didn't have a will.  If she did, it will pass custody of the child (well, HER portion) to her family.  You may run into adoption problems if that happened.  Her family may agree to it, but please try to remember they are your step-daughter's family too.  Just because her mother was a bad person doesn't mean her family should be punished and have their grandchild taken completely out of their lives.  Adopt her, but remember she has a set of grandparents that love her very much, in addition to your husband and your families.

Answer 6

You need to discuss this with a lawyer.  You should have no problems concerning you adopting her, but it might have to wait til things settle.

As for her having any will... uh  "her share" of custody of a child, is not a property thing that gets inherited. This IS his daughter, and if there is shared custody, then the court is already completely aware that he is the father, and has parental rights. Those rights don't get handled through a will.  The only way that his rights might be challenged would be if a grandparent filed against him for custody of the child.. and even that would be extremely unlikely to win, if dad isn't unfit.  You indicate that you have no problems keeping in touch with mom's side of the family..which makes you good people, doing the right thing.

If DSS has temporary custody for some reason, then they had a court order against mom, which they will need to file to terminate. You need to check with them..but if dad isn't in question as to fitness, that should just be a formality too.