Cheated on? Tried therapy but divorced anyway?

Question

How long did you try therapy for? What sort of things did therapist ask/tell talk about?

Answer 1

Therapy rarely works, trying reading books to help you. And you might not believe it but going back to your church will be the biggest cure for your soul.  

Answer 2

I was cheated on by an ex boyfriend and the girl he cheated on with me was my close friend. I gave him two chances and than cut him loose. He had a friend come to be and ask if I wanted to get back together with him and I said no you had a year to prove yourself to me and if you are going to pester me and pressure me for s*x than NO I dont want to go back with you. He cried but I cried for weeks when he willfully and spitefully betrayed me because I refuse s*x unless we were married. I forgave him but that does not mean I was going to sit around and wait for him to grow up. Thank you for a great question

Answer 3

From what others tell me about their relationships if they cheated on you you really have to forgive them and they have to start earning your trust back a little at a time. You will always be a bit suspicious but will have to learn to trust, some people go to therapy for 3 months others try 2 years it really depends on the people involved.

Answer 4

Were you betrayed?  Then kiss your marriage adios.... only 20% of marriages survive 2 years after betrayal, and that is with both in therapy, and both hoping to save it.... 20% hon is an F in school, and for sure an F in life.  Why bother.

Answer 5

I became my own therapist and divorced that cheating ex. I am capable of making my own decisons and he lost his d**n mind if he thought I was gonna keep him around. He wanted to go to a therapist. Please! I told him yeah and I'll be telling that therapist how it's gonna be too and if they don't like it, they can kiss my ***. And real quick like, he forget all about that stupid idea.  

Answer 6

Therapy only works if both spouses/partners truly want to change to accommodate the other one.  If either of you drags the other to therapy, you will only waste your time and money.  Individual therapy, on the other hand, can help you sort out how to take care of yourself and not be a victim.

Answer 7

I am so so sorry. Is there any chance of a reconciliation at all? Does he want to come back? Or is he leaving for the other woman? chances are he may not be able to forgive himself right now, and that will keep him from being able to love you again competely. If your marriage is important, swallow your pride and ask him if there is anyway you might ever be able to work it out. Marriage is so hard. But separation is harder (been there). I'm so glad we didn't get divorced though. It's still hard sometimes but being together is better. So if you think there's a chance, go for it. Because chances are you may not be able to get over it for a long time.

for now, tell your therapist everything you are feeling. Even if you feel one thing one day and something different the next. You need to talk it out. Get it out, tell him/her what's going on so you don't bottle it up inside. Talk about what you want to accomplish now that you are divorced, your goals, dreams, or how you can work on your personality traits that may have pushed him away so you don't do it again (hey the affair is NOT your fault but we do things to each other in marriage without realizing it that may drive our partners away). You should explore this in therapy, don't be afraid of what you'll find out, because it can help you be a better person and a happier person too. I wanted to bash my husband in therapy and my therapist said,"good, I know everything that's wrong with him, now let's see what's wrong with you." lol and I found out so much about myself, not all of it pleasant, but it helped me to find the things that helped improve my relationship with him. Try it. Good luck. I'm sorry for your heartbreak.