Cheating and Low Self Esteem?

Question

Why do a lot of YA responders say that a reason for cheating is do to Low Self Esteem?

If one is looking to someone else for emotional or physical things they are not getting from their spouse that to me is a sense of ego. The ego is wanting to be satisfied, how is that low self esteem? Isn't low self esteem equivalent to low self worth and an attitude that you are not worthy?

Answer 1

if someone with a high self worth has needs they will talk to their spouse first before seeking out someone new. most cheating is done because the person they are cheating with is trying to win them over by making them feel special, a man with high self worth will love and respect his marriage a man without it will try to find it anywhere he can.a man who thinks highly of himself will not cheat, because he loves himself enough not to invite that into his life.

Answer 2

Yes, but by having your ego stroked, this makes you feel better about yourself...which some attribute to a higher self esteem.  However, that is mostly a false feeling.  If someone has good self esteem, they don't need to depend on anyone else to make them feel good about themselves.  They'll only feel worse when that person inevitably dumps them.

Answer 3

I agree with you 100%.  I think it takes such an incredible amount of arrogance to do it.  Low self esteem?  PLEASE.  Like they're really crying on the person's shoulder.  NOOOOO.  They are s******g them.  p***s in v****a.  I can't see how that would resolve a psychological issue.  My husband's brother tried to pull that BS about being neglected too.  My @ss!  He was hooking up with chicks on adult friend finder.  BAH!

Answer 4

It is definitely about ego. They have low self-esteem often after they have been caught cheating and then they get to deal with that feeling. I really think it is purely about the s*x, though-rest of it is excuse after excuse.

Answer 5

I agree - MOST of the time, it is an effort to have the ego stroked...

...Literally....  

Answer 6

I think your right.

Answer 7

There is NO excuse for cheating. And self esteem issues lol please. Anyone that thinks that is delusional. Its about ego like you said.

Answer 8

By golly I think you have a point there.   Good question!

Answer 9

Who said that? Low self esteem those are the ones who put up with bull not dish it.

Answer 10

You have a very good point.

Answer 11

Greg,

Where the argument lies is that if someone is not getting what they need with their spouse, someone with a decent amount of self esteem, not to mention respect, would address this with their spouse first. If they could not work on it and solve their problems, then separating and divorce would be the proper course.

It does take two to make or break a marriage. However, the decision to cheat is based on lies and deception to the one person who you are supposed to be closest to. In fact, the person you have told the world, I hold this person above all others. To betray that is betraying not only your spouse but family, friends, etc...

Answer 12

that's right.  low self esteem and low self worth go hand in hand.  the attitude of being not worthy is because when your spouse continually turns you down for s*x (and everything else that goes with) turns away from you in all aspects you feel that you have no self worth, so you turn to someone who at that time makes you feel that you are worth something, even if it is for a night or whatever.  when the one that you love and trust with all your heart and soul breaks that for whatever reason, you would automatically want someone or something to "love"