Cheating - is it the little things or what they might lead to?

Question

I've read here a few times that most married people would be unhappy with their spouse touching or being touched by friends in ways such as holding hands, playing with hair, caressing lower legs or nuzzling necks. But I'm curious as to whether these things in themselves are the problem, or the danger of what they might lead to?

Answer 1

We all have a certain space that others should not invade unless we invite them in to do so. When someone steps over the boundary on you or with someone you love then they need to be informed about it and told to stop. It's called respect and that's the bottom line.

Answer 2

Both !   But more importantly the danger of what it will lead up to.

I know if one of my neighbors kept holding my hand, playing with my hair , caressing my legs or nuzzling my neck it would be very hard not to stop him from taking it any further. For him and me.

We are after all human.  And touching does feel good.  I feel the same way about kissing.  Its just not permitted.  

What I told my husband when I married him was that whatever he did or thought was ok to do then I would do the same thing. Since I knew I never would he didn't have any worries.  But I didn't know if he would be able to resist temptation.  Its been 22 years and so far so good.

But you just never know !   We can only hope that we don't let temptation get the better of us.  I would be willing to bet that even those that have a pretty perfect marriage would be shocked to find out that their spouse has thought of another in that way even if they didn't act on it.  

Answer 3

You are an adult right?  Then you know the answer to this question!

Answer 4

even those things can be invasive in a marriage. they are just wrong. those things are intimate too and that should be withheld for their spouse.  

Answer 5

Any contact like you describe - it is a no-brainer. If you are in a committed relationship, that is not appropriate. If a anyone is telling you that is ok, and you believe it, that is your problem. It is not ok.

Answer 6

Things like this is what seperates SINGLE life and MARRIED life.

IF one feels they have to touch, nuzzle others, then they shouldn't get in a marriage, let alone any relationships.  Why not be true to themselves as well as to others, if they have a relationship.

Answer 7

What are you, braindead? Any man touching my wife like that is going to catch a bullet, no questions asked.

Answer 8

Are you kidding me?  That IS cheating.

Answer 9

I have no worries of what it may lead to, as the initial "touch" would be enuff for me to blow the whistle on situation....

Married ppl need not put their hands on another---period

Answer 10

Those are the beginning steps of cheating. Cheating doesn't just mean having s*x with someone other than your spouse. It's all the things that should be reserved for husband & wife - the little thigs that show you care should not be shared with others. It's also because these are signs of affection and because these could indicate that an affair has already begun or is imminent. My motto is keep your hands of my man & he should keep his hands off you. And you haven't even mentioned the conversational things that are off limits to anyone trying to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

Answer 11

That friend is being too friendly if he's doing that,and they can lead to some danger of cheating the physical stuff is what always get the ball rolling.

Answer 12

Are you kidding?  If my husband was playing with some girl's hair, caressing her legs & nuzzling her neck . . . she would have flown across the room & his c**p would be in garbage bags on the curb right now.