Check this rap verse out ? ?

Question

This is a complex simplicity type of rhyme

the type that will dwell in ur mind

Until the end of time

This is the truth for the youth

that be roaming in the realms of the struggle

searching for the light at the end of the tunnel

but still incapable of realizing the fact

that this maze is escapeable u gotta belive in that

sometimes **** gets too stressfull that u wanna tap out

but that is not an option u gotta break out

that is why i chose to rap

to express my self using a pen and a pad

to combine my notions n emotions and create a hot track

cuz im unstoppable with the mic in my hand

a lyrical weaponry that will blaze the land around

and smash any foe who oppose and try to hit back

Answer 1

U need to rap with soul and a deep story

Answer 2

Good all the way down to pad.

o combine my notions n emotions and create a hot track

cuz im unstoppable with the mic in my hand

a lyrical weaponry that will blaze the land around

and smash any foe who oppose and try to hit back

"and create a hot track" No, your making yourself sound like your not writing this for you emotions, your wirting for money. Plus it doesn;t flow.

Unstopabble line is fine, but the line below doesn't match. Make it rhyme in and change the words because you sound like your prancing around with a mic in your hand in some open field.

and the smash any foe line is too far down to rhyme with track. You've got a 1AB,AB,AB rhyming system, all the way down to the final 2 bars which turns into ABCA, basically menaing you need to have 1 bar's last word rhyme with the line above it. And the last 2 bars you changed that. It;s good just fix up the ending, remember never force anything into your lyrics.