Checking grammar and structure?

Question

This is my introduction of my argumentative essay could people make it better, change sentence is ok!! make it better for me^^ thanks

The use of drugs is very important because it is emerging as one of the most decisive factors to many communities and it also becomes a controversial and much debated topic in the world nowadays. Harm minimization accepts people making their own choices and it attempts to find ways helping and leading them to least harm. Although this humane strategy was invented for reducing the criminal rate and minimizes the drug usage, it does not convince of all the community to believe it is the effective method. The issue of whether harm minimization is efficient or zero tolerance is significant because it involves in changing people’s live style, safety of the community and a person’s own healthiness. Is a harm minimization approach to illicit drug use more effective than zero tolerance? Some argue that the harm minimization will have negative impacts. These negative impacts include no restricted rules or regulation to stop people from taking drugs and health concerns. However, this essay will argue that harm minimization is the most efficient strategy, these supporting reasons will include the progress of needle exchange programs, methadone programs and reducing criminal rates .

Answer 1

The study of drug use is important because it affects the health and safety of communities.  Most communities have a zero tolerance policy for illegal drug use.  Harm minimization is a new strategy to address the concerns of the community.  It was invented to reduce crime rate and minimize drug usage.  It is not widely accepted because involves changing people's lifestyles.  

I would start the next paragraph with:

Is a harm minimization approach...

Leave out However.... just explain it, you don't have to say what you are about to explain.

Answer 2

k! I'll Do my best! hehe.. I wonder if you said that. Well, I'll just retype your paragraph as i think it should read:

Drug use is very important to modern society,because it is emerging to be one of the mose decisive factors to many communitis across the continents, and also became a controversial and much debated topic in the world nowadays. Harm minimization accepts people to make their own choices, and it attemps to find ways to help and lead them to cause the least harm. Although this humane strategy was invented for reducing the criminal rate and minimizes drug usage, it does not convince all of the community to believe it is the most effective method. The issue of whether harm minimization efficient ,or zero tolerance is significant because it involves in changing people's life style, safety of the community, and a person's own healthiness. Is a harm minimization appraoch to illicit drug use more effective than ero tolerance? Some argue that the harm minimization will have negative impacts. These negative impacts include no restricted rules or regulation to stop people from taking drugs and health concerns. However, this essay will argue that harm minimization is the most efficient strategy, these supporting reasons will include the progress of needle exchange programs, methadone programs and reducing criminal rates.

Well, I fixed some of your spelling, punctuation, and word use. But I'd add transitions...... maybe... idk.