Chess playing dead beat dad makes wrong move

Question

Dead beat dad finally goes to court

Answer 1

Wow, I'm sorry about your husband cheating on you.  That's horrible.   It reminds me of my parents.  But anyways, you seem to be really smart and have a really good head on your shoulders.  You seem to be doing the best you can at being a great parent and managing your money wisely.  

I'm not sure if you're trying to get this room for $100 just to try and save up for a nicer place, or because you HAVE to pay something off and this cheaper rent will allow you to do so.  

If you're only trying to go here so you can save up for a nicer place, I'd see what your kids prefer.  Your kids don't necessarily need or desire a nice place to live.  They can tell you're working hard for them and saving money as is, and that you are there for them.  And, that's all that matters.  When my Dad moved out after cheating on my mom, my sister and I could have stayed with him because he had a lot more money and we could have lived nicely, but we chose not to simply because we wanted someone who would be there for us, and we knew our Mom would be.  I bet your kids realize the same thing, that you will be there for them, and there Dad won't.   Your daughter may not even want to go away for 3-4 months with her dad, and just rather stay in the smaller place with you and your son.   Sure, your ex throws money at her with phone cards, but this isn't what she wants deep down.  My dad did this with my sister, and she can't stand him.  He tries to make up for not being there with money, which doesn't work at all.

If this is the case, where you want to try to save up for a nicer place, talk to your kids and see if that's what they really want, or if they'd rather just have things how they are so you guys don't have to split up for awhile.

However, if you need this cheaper room to pay off bills or something, your ex-husband should definitely take your daughter.  That's not that long of a time, and he could definitely afford it with how much he's giving her on phone cards.   But again, make sure your daughter would not hate going there.  If so, I'm sure there's another family member she could stay with.  perhaps an aunt, a grandparent, a friend, etc.   That might even be better because like you said, your ex-husband should be grateful for getting to see his daughter, but he's not.   I'm sure your daughter was really upset when hearing about that.

In conclusion, I guess I'm saying only send off your daughter if you absolutely need to, because I'm sure they don't mind deep down how things are with the housing situation, since they get to be the parent that truly cares about them.  

Anyways, good luck with everything!  I hope for the best for ya!

- Mike.