Child Behavior Question.?

Question

I am a nanny for a 4 year old and 6 year old boy.

When the older boy does not get his way or he has to do something he doesn't like he gets angry, very angry.

He tells me he wants to make my heart stop beating and wants me to die and all sorts of weird stuff.

He has told me he wants to kill his parents before.

Is it worth it to stay with this family?

He has also started hitting and scratching me because he is angry.

I love the family but I just don't know if it is worth it for me?

If you were in my position would you stay?

Answer 1

i would saty until he does something RELLY bad!!!talk to the parents and do what he wants but not the things you know that are wrong!!

Answer 2

I would talk to the parents and advise them to get him some child therapy, he sounds like he needs it.  If you are worried for your safety then I would leave.

Answer 3

I would first make the parents aware of the situation and see how they handled it.  If they refused to get councling for their son to find out what is going on and to help him with his anger management issues then i would probably have to quit but first I would see about the family getting help for him.  You could try to work with him but depending on how much time his parents are away from home they may be the problem (if they are away and neglecting giving him attention and only relying on you to do that part).

Answer 4

it sounds like you need to talk to mom and dad and get the child some professional help.for some reason the kid is acting out with some extreme aggressive behavior and the parents need to be told.

Answer 5

This is pretty odd behavior for a child of any age, let alone six.

You need to tell his parents what he's saying. He needs professional help.

He probably can't physically overpower you but if there are firearms in the house be careful. Also watch out for poisons.

Answer 6

you do not need to put up with the abuse. If all that is being done is him having to apologise then he is really learning nothing. Explain that you now longer want to be attacked and give them 3 weeks notice

Answer 7

NOPE! The parents need a sign that their child needs counseling. This would be the sign. If they can't keep a nanny they will get a hint. Get out of there. I wouldn't put up with that for a second OR if you are really gungho on the family tell them you won't stay unless they seek counseling for him and find out why he is saying things like that to you. That is completely abnormal for a 6 year old and disturbing to boot. Good luck.

Answer 8

It sounds as if he needs to see a therapist. This is not normal behavior for a 6 year old. I would talk to the parents about getting him in to see a behavioral therapist. If they still blow it off and just make him apologize, I would stop working for them. You should not have to be subjected to abuse from a 6 year old. He may really hurt you someday.

Answer 9

this child needs counseling.. if he does not get counseling.. I don't think there is much that you can do to h elp this family... he is being very aggressive and   maybe could hurt someone.. I hope the parents will open there eyes and get him some help...

Answer 10

if you like the family and you think they are handling things the right way then i don't see why you shouldn't stay. problems like this are not to be taken lightly though. this kid needs help. that is help that he cannot get from you or his parents. there is a great form of counseling for children called Play Therapy and it allows them to form a trusting relationship with an adult and work through their problems through what is most natural to them..play! it is an amazing technique and can help children tremendously. they also have a form of counseling called Sand Tray (that is normaly used for older children, adolescents and adults though). you say that his parents are aware of what goes on while you are there but you might just mention to them the idea of play therapy as it could greatly benefit their child. (The University Of North Texas website should have plenty of information on this form of counseling. Dr. Gary Landreth would be a good person to research as he came up with what is known as "Child centered play therapy". have them look at this and see what they think)

Answer 11

One thing is for sure the 6 year old is crying out for help here. He's obviously very confused and trying (very successfully) to get attention with negative behaviour. I have worked with alot of children with difficulties and children who get angry and display violence often have learnt that as the only way to channel frustration. Its difficult to explain all the methods we use but the main messages you give to the child is:

1. Its completely natural to feel frustrated - we all have these feelings - anger etc - you must stay calm when he displays anger - reassure him its OK to feel like this - give him time to calm down/ settle - reassure him that he is loved

2.Show them different ways of coping with their feelings talk about what happened and how he could have acted when he is in a calmer state

3. Build their self esteem with positive reinforcement and praise when he does react well

You do need to work with the parents too! Some of the children I've worked with are incredibly violent but staying calm and reassuring them that the feelings are OK to have and being positive has had tremendous rewards.

Answer 12

i would talk to the parents. tell them everything, they probably don't want to hear it. and they probably might get mad but i would talk to his parents. see what they have to say and if nothing changes or is done about it then i would leave. you shouldn't have to put up with that.

Answer 13

Certainly talk to the parents. This isn't normal behavior for a 6 year old. Mine is worried that I might die and leave him.

I'd talk to the parents and if they don't seem concerned by it, tell them that you can't work like that, and give notice. They will either hire someone new, or think about what you said.

I'd be wary of getting a reference from them, though, especially if they are in denial about this child's behavior.