Child Custody! Can i ask for my sons abusive father to have less time with our son then what his been having ?

Question

so far when its time to renew the child custody arrangements? he has my son 2 times a week supervised with his mother. He is now wanting to have visits on his own and over night. He is a drug user and has mental illnesses. ive never touched drugs in my life. just the thought of over nights with my son makes me sick. his family is totally waked. I hate myself for getting involved with him and his family and i hate that I'm stuck in this situation. at times before we had a custody agreement he didn't care that he didn't see his son but his sister and mum made his see him, then i applied for a domestic violence order due to domestic violence and his mum and sister were the once that made him do something to obtain custody. but many times when ive gone over to pick my son up (18months old) my ex has just been completely ignoring him or my ex has been out side working on his car at him mums place and my sons been inside with his girlfriend and mother. And his sister makes me feel like I'm less of a mother like saying ' who's your mum' when i go to pick him up and she act like he goes to her. Ive grown up with a nice family with no drugs or violence and I'm just not used to all this c**p. I dont care if my son doesnt see his father because i know he isnt a good role model for him or anything and he hasnt supported me at all. Any good advise or anything?? please help. im under so much stress because of it.

Answer 1

I would say get a good lawyer and go to court.  If hes not a good father and has all these hang ups I think you have a pretty good case of not wanting him to spend time with the child, especially over nights!

try looking for some answers on www.thelaw.com

take him back to court and express your feelings, also get things to back it up too, some people who might stand beside you as a character witness for you and for him, show the judge.

Answer 2

Honestly, your options vary wildly depending on where you live. In most states, the courts have a clear model of letting each parent spend their parenting time as they see fit. A judge once told me that unless the parent is openly abusing the child, using illicit drugs in front of the child, or is outright neglecting the child, and you have SOLID evidence, such as a police report, the court will NOT reduce or take away parenting time. My advice then is that you carefully document everything. For example, if your son comes home and states that dad left him home alone overnight and he's only four, call the police. Get a report. Send CPS over there. But if your son comes home a little dirty and says he spent the whole weekend with his gramma and auntie, then there's really nothing you can do. They love him and are likely taking care of him during his father's parenting time and unless there is a clear danger to the child, the court will not intervene.  

Answer 3

Go back to court.  NOW!

Answer 4

You need a lawyer. You need to prove to the judge that your ex represents a danger to your son and that he is incompetent to care for him at all. You need to get all visitation removed.

Answer 5

if you can prove the domestic violence part to the judge when you go back to court for the custody issues then you should have a very strong case. tell the judge that you are scared of the thought of your son staying all night with him due to the type of abuse he put you through that you don't feel he would be safe. and for that matter you can take his sister and mother to court for slander. or even impersonating you to your son. there are things you can do to prevent anything happening to your son that you don't want to happen. take him to court and see if you can't get his rights varnished and if you can't get child support at the least it takes a lot to raise a child and he should be held accountable for it just as much as you are.

Answer 6

When you say custody..you have custody as your son lives with you.  Your child's father has visitation..supervised.   I agree with you, this guy should not be allowed over nights with your son or be granted custody.  Doesn't seem like he shows much interest, it's more like a power struggle with his family.  He should be involved with drug rehab, counseling and parenting classes, also paying child support.  Do you have an attorney?  I think it's important that you speak to him or her, explain the situation, your concerns and observations.  They can help you obtain the support, etc. through the court, also dealing with the visitation.  I can understand the stress and pain you are feeling, a counselor can help you deal with that, talking with your family as well...your attorney could also ask them to speak in your behalf in the court.  Your ex's sister is wrong,..you are a good mother who cares for her child.  When she says such things you can say,  "He knows I'm his Mom, don't you sweetheart" directing the words to your son as you pick him up. I wish you luck.