Child Support.....seriously!!!?

Question

I realize that child support is necessary.

I know that there are people out there that don't make any attempt what so ever.

But what about the guys that, take care of this obligation, they are still getting screwed even though they are trying to do something

I want to know why the law needs to be tilted so damned much.

All I've ever heard about are horror stories of guys getting railed by their ex's for child support

I am in one of these such railings.

In order for me to reduce my payment amount, I have to lose a least 50% of my pay and yet the instant I receive any raise I can be taken back to court as I recently was.

I got my annual raise of 50 cents(which as most are, based of performace, quality of work, etc.)

and she was able to get it raised

I earned it she benefits. It don't matter that in getting my raise happened to put me into a higher tax bracket and i actually make less than I used to

She even asked the judge to make me pay her rent. I was never married to her so there was no obligation for me to do so, but because the child lives with her, she felt I needed to provide a roof.

Not to mention that I know for a fact that much of the money that is given to her, gets her new shoes, shirts, and enough left over to go out for the night. She has told me that she spends the money like this, but unless i can get her to tell a judge that, it don't do me any good.

Meanwhile, I can be accused of doing drugs and investigated by Family services, because she thinks I might do them.

I spend time with my kid when I'm not working, I try to do what I can for him but she only makes it more difficult and the state is not helping

BTW some of you may suggest lawyers, but they ain't S**t when daddy's got money to back her up

I guess I'm just too much of a hillbilly to turn horse apples into logic

Answer 1

"I earned it she benefits" Wrong...you earned it your CHILD benefits.  Or don't you want your child to have the best there is?  Child support goes to pay for 1/3 the rent/mortgage of the custodial home, 1/3 electric to light that home and cool it so your child doesn't die from heat stroke in the summer, 1/3 heat so that your child doesn't freeze in the winter.  Child support pays 1/3 the sewer so that your child can flush the toilet instead of standing knee deep in sh it, 1/3 water so your child can bathe and have that night time drink of water before bed and 1/3 garbage so that your child doesn't have to not only live knee deep in sh it but garbage as well.  Or would you rather your child live in squalor up to his knees in sh it and garbage?  

IF you know for a fact that she is using the child support money on "shoes and going out"  then take her to court with that proof, her saying it doesn't prove anything other than she knows how to push your buttons.  

Answer 2

Dear guy in trouble, first you must analyze the problem, why is she being a ***** to you? hmm... perhaps the fact that you banged her and she got pregnant, the question was, were you willing to be a father figure to the child? did you make the commitment?  hmm if so, then perhaps it is not you...   Equal rights, my butt.  the law always sticks to the woman's side.  Look, if you do what you can, that is fine, perhaps you may want to talk to the judge about the problem.  You are supporting her all you can,  but they must realize that you also need to support yourself as well.  if the child is cared for with the previous payments before, then why is she damending more? perhaps you might want to look up on private investigators.. see if they can find such abuse and lies of her claims..  If not you can always make her life h**l....  the only victim of this is the child that you and her brought into the world...  its sad but you know, its for the kid, and I do not hear the kid have any say in this...  how old is the mother of your child anyway?  is the child really yours? have you done a blood test?  hmm....  all i have to say is that if i have done all the right things but get pounded from that wench, I'd make her regret it.... heheheheHEHEHEHEHEEHHEHE but that is me, deep in our hearts we all want to do the right thing...  please take private invistigating into consideration.. perhaps if they find something, you can use this to your advantage...sorry to hear that you didnt listen to the preachers of abstinance...... or use a condom...  

Answer 3

You are correct.  The few pay through the nose and the many get away without paying anything.

You have to wonder how they can get away without paying and still get their child as much as those father's that pay through the nose.  And like you said, you work hard for a raise and she get it's.

There is no reason to pay a lawyer for it will not do any good.  

What you can do is hire a detective and have her followed for a week or several week ends.  She told you that she goes out in the evenings and she also spends your child's money on herself.  She should be putting this money into a college fund for him instead of spending it on herself.

I truly feel sorry for you and all dad's who can't live themselves for paying child support that the child doesn't get.  There is noting you can do about it until your child graduates from high school.

When you do what is wrong, your have to pay the fiddler.  You should have taken a cold shower or not have been alone with her then she wouldn't have gotten pregnant and you would not have to pay her all the money you do.

Did you have the test done to proved it was your child?  

Blessings

    

Answer 4

If you really want to get back at her you can record her telling you what she spends the money on and then take it to court and they will lower the amount you give her and then make her show proof that she is spending the money on your child.  My dad did that to my mother who did the same thing.  Just of coarse don't tell her you are recording her.

Answer 5

It's nice to hear that you are trying to do the right thing by your child.  yes I agree that child support can work against honest fathers it's not always the females that are doing the wrong thing. Yes I am a single mother of three aged 9, 8, 5 and I receive $28.65 a month  (for the 3 of them), pay the mortgage(that he will receive something when sold) as well as bring the kids up. He left his job after he left me and is now on the dole. I work two jobs just to make ends meet. So just remember it's not just the guys who get screwed ova.