Child a dream for others, not for Mom and Dad...?

Question

My husband and I get compliments all the time about how polite and respectful our daughter, who will be 5 on Wednesday, is. The problem is that she is just the opposite at home when it's just us. She is an only child and has been ahead of the curve in everything from size to smarts. We dont know where we went wrong or how to get our sweet girl to show us the respect she shows everyone else. Any suggestions would be appreciated. To be clear, she is very sweet and loving, as long as she is getting her way.

Answer 1

*LOL*  Welcome to parenthood, my dear friend!  I get the same thing about my teenagers... and my 23 year old Marine... who is just now starting to act like a human being when he's home on leave!

You might try letting up a little on her.  She's an only child, so she gets 100% of the attention, both good and bad.  Don't see EVERY little thing she might do... let some that are harmless go... that way she gets the "space" a kid with siblings gets (when mom and dad's attention is on the other kids, they don't see what this one does!)   Also, the more you push her, the more she's going to act out.   It's about finding a balance... and creating it in your home with a calmness that doesn't have room for her pushing you constantly.  

If she's making you act crazy by pushing those buttons, you're better than television any day of the week.  She can just turn you on and off at will, by being a little pill.   Instead of running hot and cold (which ALL of us do at times!) focus on being consistent... maybe giving up some of the battles you've been fighting to allow you to be calmly consistent with others.

Finally... she's five.  She's bored.  She'll start school and your whole world will change because she'll start getting input from a gazillion other sources...  She'll be fine.. and so will you.

Tell MTD Howdy!!  I miss you guys!

Answer 2

the fact that she is good for every one else shows that you have done a really good job and she knows how she should behave

i would say shes being a little monster for you because your mom and dad and knows she can get away with sertain things:) (ment with no disrespect)

if shes ahead of her self she may be wanting to act like a grown up but not quite sure how to go about it try explaining it to her in a "grown up way" that the behavior is not aceptable

keep up the good work

Answer 3

stop giving her her way!

Answer 4

well she cant always get her way now can she u guys r her parents and parenthood comes b4 friendship so disipline her take away her privelges if u guys have dessert say u did that no dessert or if u guys do sometihng fun every week liek go to the park say oh u did that i asked and told u not to u cant go to the park u have to sit in ur room

Answer 5

Tell her how much you admire her behavior outside the house and how proud you are to have such a delightful daughter.

Let her know that you think she is not always on her best behavior with mom & dad and that you would like her to change this pattern.

Then, when she does something that you think is inappropriate, tell her WHAT the appropriate behavior would be and that you will comply when she behaves appropriately.

In other words, if you tell it's time for dinner and she ignores you, walk over to her and get on an eye to eye level.  Tell her in a low tone that you called her to the table and that you expect her to stop what she is doing and sit down for dinner.

Let her know that if she doesn't do as you say, she will miss her meal and will have to go to bed hungry.  BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY SAY WHAT YOU'LL DO AND DO WHAT YOU SAY!!

Don't yell, don't scream, don't show frustration.  Just stick to your plan and she will soon begin to comply because even she will find that it easier.

And think of it this way.  What if you and your little girl were crossing the street and you saw a car coming directly at you.  You yell at your daughter to "give me your hand" and she ignores you!  See what I'm getting at?

Good luck...but you are fortunate that you recognize the problem because it sounds like if it's not corrected she will be a wonderful friend, but a lousy wife!

Answer 6

I am the same way. My teachers loved me. I was all their favorite student. And everyone I knew was saying they wanted to adopt me if they could, but my parents wouldn't let them. And everyone around said how well- behave and wonderful I was.But, not at home. It'd not like I was terrible to my parents. I was good for them too. Not just as good as I am in public. On the bright side, you'll have lots of compliment and adoption offers.