Child acting stupid?

Question

everytime my bfs kid has her friends over, she acts really stupid, obnoxious, rude, disrespecful. she's bossy and acts like she doesnt know the rules and has no regards to anyone other than herself. i hate it when she has friends over, but unless her room is a mess i have no reason to say no. my bf works the night shift so i am in charge of her after school. we live together. she is 9.

Answer 1

you are the adult in the house.  you need to set her down and tell her the next time she starts acting like she has no sense, her friend will leave immediately.  make sure you have the phone number of the person who is coming over so you can call their parent to come pick them up.  also ground her so she can't have people over or use the phone.  start with 3 days and if she still can't get it, then work up from there

Answer 2

Showing off. Why isn't her behavior a reason to not allow her to have have friends over? Her father needs to have a talk with her now.

Answer 3

If you and your bf both agree that you are in charge of her after school, then you need to sit him down and have a talk with him about how she's acting.  The two of you need to come up with some guidelines together such as, if she does this or ignores this rule, then she can't have friends over for x amount of time.  Once the time limit is up, she gets to try again, but is again expected to follow the rules.  For some reason, kids just act dumb around their friends.  But you have to get you bf behind you on this one.

Answer 4

Explain, very clearly, the rules you have for her.  The consequences of breaking the rules are that the friens will be sent home - immediately.  Don't become angry.  Just send the friends home, shrug your shoulders and say, "You picked your consequence."  You may have to do this a few times.  Best of luck.

Answer 5

Mine is EXACTLY the same!  

I don't care if her friend is over or not, she gets told off.  The first couple of times I felt bad about "embarrassing her in front of her friend" but the fact is, it is YOUR house and she needs to behave appropriately whether her friends are there or not.

I  pull my daughter aside and warn her that unless she behaves her friend will be sent home, or I will tell her off in front of her friend.  Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't.

It also depends which friend she has over.  If she is with a hyperactive kid who does not have many rules in their home, or are not accustomed to showing respect to grown-ups her behaviour will be bad.   I tell her that unless she starts behaving that friend will not be invited back.  That seems to work on most occasions.

She had a friend who came over and within 5 minutes of her being there my daughter started saying "as if" when I asked them if they wanted something.  I gave her "THE" look.  Then a little while later she told me to "shut up" so I told her off, gave her a time out and her friend has not been invited back since!  Tough Love!!!!

Good luck and good on you for sticking to your guns!

Answer 6

All kids act that way in front of their friends whether they are yours or not! What you need to do is sit her down and simply explain that there are rules whether her friends are there or her dad is home that are the same no matter what and if she can't follow her basic rules no friends can come over the next day. That is a natural consequence and very reasonable. Talk with her dad and make sure he is there to back you up on it.

Answer 7

this could be her way of showing that she doesn't like her daddy have a new women in his life. if that's not it, she probably just likes the feeling of control and showing her friends how much she can get away with at home, being the "rebel" child. does your bf know that she acts this way? i think you should talk it over with him, and then maybe the 3 of you (or just you) should sit down and talk it over

Answer 8

You need to explain to her the same rules apply when friends are over that apply everyday or the friend goes home. My daughter is 8 and just started saying thing i think are disrespectful like "Duhhhh" well to a kid on  a playground its not so bad to Duhhh them but you don't Duhhhhh your mother! At this age they are learning new social things on the playground, its our job to remind them their are certain things that are not appropriate to say to adults. Its not that she is doing it on purpose she really doesn't know any better til we teach her. So I promised not to yell and just tell her when she says something disrespectful and my daughter promised to listen and realize some things are not said to adults.