Child adoption and child support?

Question

My husband has a daughter in NYand we live in TN. He has only seen his daughter once He wasnt completley sure if he was the father and she never pushed the issue untill the little girl was 5 They did find that he was the father and he pays child support His daughter is now 9 and the mother of the child is married and husband is wanting to adopt her We are only agreed to let him cause he has been in her life for a long time and we think its best for her. anyway they have been saying they were working on the adoption then the other day they sent us a not saying...I just talked to my lawyer, and he told me you can go into court anytime and ask to give up your rights to Hailey. Which would make it so you would'nt ever to pay any kind of child support again. Either that or write us a very clearly worded letter saying your willing to give up your rights to her. We would take that to court up here and a judge would send you a letter which you would sign and it would be done.

Answer 1

I would suggest you do not send or sign anything unless you hire an attorney to review it first to ensure everything is covered., That being said it's perfectly possible (even, sadly, routine these days) to relinquish rights to pave the way for an adoption, and upon finalization the responsibilities also end.

Does your husband really want to lose all rights though? That is really huge...to sever all ties.

Answer 2

<<he told me you can go into court anytime and ask to give up your rights to Hailey.>>

This is a red flag that there is something going on in the background that is preventing an adoption.  Don't let your husband do it unless your husband investigates this matter further.  There was even a case of this on Judge Judy (the step-father had a drug background). Get an attorney and look at this more closely.

I would also add that this child is 9.  Certainly old enough to have a say as to whether she really wants to be adopted or not or to hope that she can have more contact with your husband.   My boss's partner's son was glad that his father refused to give up his rights even though he'd been prevented from seeing his son for some years.  It wasn't that he didn't like his step-father, but he WANTED contact with his father and was prevented by mom's issues.  He has since graduated from high school and immediately moved to be closer to his father. He maintains a good relationship with his stepfather.

Answer 3

Do not give up rights until they have petitioned the court for adoption. You have to pay child support no matter what your rights are to the child until the adoption is final. They can petition the court for adoption and do everything on thier end. Then thier attorney should send you a letter of intent to adopt asking if you support or contest the adoption. The supporting of the adoption is not exactally like giving up your rights but when the adoption moves forward to be finalized, the judge will then terminate your rights based on what you signed. If they don't move forward with the adoption than you retain your rights.

Answer 4

Certainly this needs to be addressed by an attorney.  

However, giving up one's parental rights is pretty drastic.  They will permanently no longer be father and daughter under the law.  

It also tells his daughter that she's very unimportant to him -- that money is more important to him that having her as a daughter.  Is he really sure this is the message he wants to send.