Child adoption... pros and cons, paper work, experience, suggestions, advice?

Question

What are some of your experiences with adoption? How have your children adjusted? What ages were they? Please tell me everything you know-- stories, experience, suggestions, legal paper work, that you have gone through in your adoption and how it has been going. It will help me make the decision. Thank you.

Answer 1

You want some good advice make sure you have the consent of both the natural mom and dad. True story my son found out that his ex girlfriend was pregant and giving the child up 2 days before the child was born. MY son and this girl had a 2 year old daughter together already, The girl moved in with another guy and hid his daughter to make sure he didn't find out about the baby. ALL planed she gave the baby to her new boyfriend's family out of state. Took my son over a year in a half to find out where the child was and who had him. Took 2 years in court and for right now has visitaion. GOOD NEWS COUPLE , SOCIAL WORKER, ADOPTION AGENCY SUED AND SETTLED OUT OF COURT. NOW THESE PEOPLE WILL ALL WAYS HAVE TO SAY THEY WERE SUED AND WHAT FOR.  This also gives my son the money to cont to fight for his child.

   Child loves my son and his sister and misses them when he doesn't see them. Damage is done to the child and father because this should have never happened.

Answer 2

it will be extremly hard on you giving up your baby you are not going to want to, the paper work is hard and long... and it depends on the child if someone wants the baby that baby will go to their home or the baby will go into a foster care home.. and it will be hard on the baby as he/she gets older alwys asking itself(why didnt my mommy really want me) it is hard on children!

Answer 3

i've been to a child adoption center

the person at the adoption center said the

younger they are the more time they have to

adapting in their new enviorment

my uncle adopted a thirteen year old boy

his name is sergio and he acts like any typical teen

i would suggest if you want to adopt a younger kid maybe take parenting classes and if you adopt a older child just treat him with love and care like if you were his real mom

after all,when you adopt him you are the child's real mom

i wish you luck

Answer 4

How much time do you have?

I'm fairly certain I'd develop a nasty case of carpal tunnel syndrome before I'm able to impart all the wisdom I have accumulated over the past 2 years.

Some highlights: We adopted from China in 2006. Our daughter was 9 months old when she was placed in our arms. The process was long (though not as long as it is now), but the paperwork and the process ran smoothly. Our agency was amazing and provided so much support both pre and post adoption. I loved every minute I was in China. The people were wonderful and very supportive of the adoption (which I admit surprised me). The nannies were loving and deeply cared for the children, though the orphanage itself was truly horrible. I had never seen or experienced anything like it. NOW, our daughter is thriving. She's a little firecracker and has the biggest imagination. We talk about her mama quite a bit (she believes she's a fairy princess) and we are told that she is academically advanced (I swear it's not just me that says it, LOL!!!!!!)

We are now pursuing our 2nd adoption through domestic foster care. The process is quite different and in some ways much more complicated, but I am confident that it will work out in the end and we can become parents to a child that needs a family.

Good luck with your decision!!!

ETA: Perhaps I misunderstood. I assumed you were looking to adopt. Is that correct? Or are you considering relinquishing? If that's the case, then while my experience still stands, my "advice" would be a little different from that perspective.

Answer 5

My son is 10 months old, the paperwork was really simple on his 1st mom's part-one signature in front of a notary (I know that the emotional part is the hard part, and I'm not trying to trivialize that), and she also had to deal with her insurance, and the paperwork at the hospital, which is going to happen whether the baby was adopted or not.  Our son is a VERY happy baby, who is loved, very attached to me, and seems to be adjusting well.  I've been following the advice of several adoptees I've known for years, and one who is a family member who'd been placed for adoption (way before I was born), and his experiences to help our son transition through this experience in the least stressful ways.  Even though social workers have been through every drawer in my house, pulled every piece of information they could find, and asked sooooo many questions, I realize it is for good reason, and the result of the adoption of my son has been wonderful.  I hope I live to be the best mother he ever thinks I could be, and I'd like to adopt a brother or sister for him now!  I kind of think of the paperwork and interviews as part of my "pregnancy" and the wait is the "labor".  All though both are hard (I also have a biological son), both processes have been so worth the wait, and I'd go through it again to have another child in my home.  I just totally believe though, that the 1st mom should be part of his life (she doesn't come or try at all anymore).  I do think it would be easier on him.  I also believe that bio grandparents are great to have in the picture if they wish to be.  My Jacob loves his Me-maw.  I also strongly suggest that the 1st parents get to know the AP's, so that way they'll know how their child's "plan" is, and if they agree on parenting, and that way they can build trust for open adoption.  I wish my son's 1st mom could get over her addictions, because in the event that something happened to me, I'd like to be able to leave everything I have to him, and have her be a part of his life, including my life insurance, which would make it possible.  (BTW-I'm living in my home and driving my car, that's why I couldn't give it to her before he was born for her to raise him).