Child behavior issues?

Question

Ok i'm the stepmom of a 9 and 11 year old.

today they had a nasty fight the 9 year pretty much beat the 11 year old up b/c the 11 year old made fun of her. the 11 year finally had enough of the beating and slapped her across the face then the 9 year old said i'm going to kill you.

She actually said she was going to kill her twice?

What do i do?

We've seperated them for the day but i feel those threats are serious and she should have repercussions of her actions. but how far do i go with it?

Answer 1

the eleven year old probebly said another thing that annoyed the 9 year old without u knowing its fine. let them fight and thell eventually figure out it herts and stop.

Answer 2

I dont think she will kill her sister,

My  sister and I fight and if one of us says that, we never mean it. Its just something kids say when theyre mad. People under the age of 14 say that a lot to theyre friends. The things we see on tv do that and it might have been a big deal a few  years ago but not anymore. If youre still worried try talking to the 11 year old and asking her if she is afraid of what her sister said. Then talk to the 9 year old and see is she really ment it.

Answer 3

Well what dose your husband say about it, he is there father he should probably take care of this you dont want to be the mean step mother because that is how the kids will see it. I have two children from a previous marriage and I always take care of the discipline for really bad behavior be case they are my kids, my husband then doesn't come off as the bad guy in there eyes it's hard enough for kids to accept a step parent so I think you should talk to your husband and tell him to take care of this problem, when your husband isn't around well you have to keep them safe and not let them kill each other so I would probably send them to there rooms until you could get your husband to come home and handle the situation.

Good Luck hope all gets better for you

Answer 4

Watch over them!

Answer 5

Send them outside, hand them a first aid kit and tell them you don't want to hear from either one of them unless bone is protruding through skin or an arterey has been severed and blood is spurtting everywhere.  That's what my parents would do and there were seven of us.  We never killed one another, yeah we bruised and battered one another, I gave and got black eyes and bloody noses.  But at the end of the day what we fought about was forgotten.

Answer 6

Where is their DAD? It depends on how long you have been married. If recently only DAD should deal with it. If married for awhile, Been There. If both are girls? there should be a house policy on physically touching each other in harmful ways and it should be dealt with harshly. If keeping them in separately does not work try the old parent trap rule. They can do nothing unless the other one is right wuth them, they must only play with each other, eat watch tv any thing until you see MUCH improvement. Key here is DAD has to be willing to take active role in this.

Answer 7

Explain to both of them the value of having a sister or a brother talk to them seperate explain to them that a sister is a gift they're the onl ones beside ur family that r goin to be there in the long run that they shud b best friend and not to take things too seriously to just let go of things that get them mad that those actions are not goin to help them at all, is goin to harm them later on in life explain why..

Answer 8

ask the 9 eyar odl if she was serious. If she says yes, then take her to a Counselor. She need shelp. If not, then tell erh never to say that stuff as It is very serious

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Answer 9

spank both of them.

Answer 10

Once she is calm and they're separated, I would have a quiet conversation with her.  Tell her you were concerned about her threats and ask her if she meant it.  I'm sure she didn't mean it, she was just angry.  Talk to her about not letting her big sister get to her - walk away, that sort of thing.

Do they constantly fight or just on occasion? Also, does the 11 yr old torment the 9 yr old?

There has to be a line drawn on the hitting.  I know it's normal to shove or wrestle but slapping across the face is NOT okay. They should be reminded of this, and maybe a punishment set up for when they cross that line.

I'd talk to both of them separately.  I'm a step mother too, and I hope the father is involved every step - I never address behavioral issues without him right there participating - It's not fair to leave it up to you, so I hope that's not the case.

Good Luck!