Question:

Child development info on selecting friends with children?

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i'm doing a paper for my child development class and was wondering if any of you could give me more info on selecting friends with children...as far as selcting them with race,gender,physical appearence,age,behavior and so on.

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  1. More or less the same age children make good friends.

    I know of parents who select their children's friends on race and wealth. Hard to believe, but true


  2. when i moved here w/ my 3 month old i knew absolutely nobody!  i started doing activities appropriate for my child but also where i could meet other moms.  most activities have an age range (gymboree, kindermusic, library story times...).  especially for babies and toddlers you want to stick to other kids close in age (within months of eachother).  personally i found a group of moms that started a playdate group.  what keeps us all still friends is not only that our kids are close in age (the oldest are almost 3, majority just turned/are turning 2, and the youngest are a month old from those moms starting to have their 2nd kid) but also that we get along and have similar attitudes about what we want out of playdates.  i had been in 2 different previous groups that i phased myself out of b/c they were too clique-ish and i just never fit in/got along.  w/ this group all the moms get along, there are no cliques, we want the best for our kids but realize moms need time to talk, hang out too.  oh, and we're all stay at home moms for the most part.  as far as the criterias you've mentioned the only one that really matters i guess is behavior.  we don't all have the exact same parenting style but it's pretty similar.  most of us are christians, but then again not all of us are and not everyone goes to church and that's ok.  i guess gender-wise we wouldn't really feel comfortable letting a dad in the group just b/c it would be awkward for the dad and the moms.  as a family tho (my husband and i) the gender part wouldn't matter at all!  let me know if you have any further questions :)

  3. proximity and age.

    the child should be one or 1 1/2 yrs. within my child's age and live nearby.. otherwise.. there is no other selection method.

    if, after they play for a while and start to kill each other, or if the other child is teaching mine bad things, then i will stop setting up play date and move on to better friends with better influences.

  4. I am not a clinician but here are some websites that might help.  I have always encouraged my children to be the best persont hey can be and those who are like them will gravitate to them.  So far they have chosen very nice friends, but I am not sure of all the aspects of making friends so try to websites.

    I hope those websites are helpful.  God bless.

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