Child support and arrears reduction, economic hard times?

Question

What is the best approach to getting support reduced, and arrears forgiven. My husband is on unemployment and I am on partial. He had a work comp. injury April 2007 and it has now effected his ability to obtain and maintain employment. Not to mention his field of expertise is in construction. We owe to NY, where the cost of living is lower than California. We are having a difficult time making our own needs possible (go to food closets and currently have no gas for cooking and heating). The choice is what to pay and how much versus do we get to put food on the table....Support wants to attach his unemployment and he gets the lowest due to the injury last year and made only 17,000.00 last year. Support has taken driving privileges and is on credit report, so obtaining a lower rent housing is null due to credit report. We are not trying to get out of support, but there comes a time when the non custodial parent needs a break to get back on feet. Mind you the mother of the child uses the support issue to NOT let dad talk to child, parental alienation. it is a long nasty story due to ex spouse refusing to cooperate. I dont need negative feed back as far as dead beat dad, he is far from it, mom does not allow dad to see child in over 3 years. Mom has 3 and 4 thousand dollar procedures on child (braces at 10 yrs old) does not discuss whether it is possible for our assistance in paying, she will send letters say "YOU OWE ME this.....!" then she violates the father...how fair. I sit however on both side of the fence, my ex owes me 6000.00 but I know that he cannot afford it, so I wait....I wont make his life miserable anymore when he cant afford it, makes no sense.

Answer 1

This has nothing to do with who will not talk with whom nor about whether or not a parent was "allowed" to visit child.  This has to do with supporting ones own child.

In general, the arrears will exist until they are paid.  After the support obligation ends, the arrearage could be incorporated into a judgment with all appropriate post-judgment remedies available (e.g., taking property, garnishing bank accounts).

Of course the child support agency will attempt to garnish unemployment benefits checks; that is an income for the child.  Of course he lost his driver's license; he was in arrears for the child support.

If there has been a substantial change in circumstances, petition the court for a modification of support.

And do not justify your husband's failure to pay with your own refusal to push for all the support due to your own child.

Answer 2

Unfortunately this is the way of the system. For you to already assume that you'll be blasted with the "dead beat dad" attacks are very accurate as many think of this situation as black and white, pay or go to jail or blah blah blah. If he was still married and lost his job the mom would have to pick up the slack or they would simply do with out or do what it takes to make ends meet, no one would be going to jail or losing their DL. At any rate you need to file a "motion to modify" with the court. Yea your going to need a lawyer or you'll need to look up the proper forms to do this your self. It can be done Pro Se but unless your ex dont fight it you'll be at a disadvantage and may lose any efforts. However, I doubt any court wouldn't give you a reduction based on your story. Your arrearage, sorry it would take an act of congress, literally, to get it forgiven. Of course the ex could in a heart beat but we all know the chance of that happening.

But get to court and get there fast as the $$ will ad up soon. Them taking his unemployment is just about as low as you can go but its the law.

Just for the record, there are legitimate dead beats out there and laws are needed to get them in line but there are real dads out there who work hard to provide for their kids while moms sit back taking it easy and using the kids against them and its just a sad sad situation as the only ones who ultimately get hurt are the children.

I pray all goes well for you but you need to go to court to get this resolved.

UPDATE: Just so people know I used to pay over $1100 per month in CS. No problem I did it and loved to pay, never complained once. Then after 25+ years on continuous employment I lost my job. Then lost my DL and lost my kids for nearly a year. Well got my job back, I was not slacking, and took her to court. Well now I have the kids as the courts saw HER to be abusive from keeping the kids from me as well as the child support prosecution. Well she pays me a measly 200 a month and I toss it ALL in a fund for the kids. So I have been there done that.