Child support... should i press for it or not?

Question

K this is gonna be long.... names are changed

BAsically i was wit Alex(my neighbor) off and on for 4yrs. And when i wasnt wit Alex i was wit Joe, he lived in kentucky. Well last year in june i FINALLY met Joe face to face and i took his virginty, we planned to get married and he was suppose to move here where i live this year in Aug. Well a week before Joe arrived, i had s*x one last time wit Alex. I found out jun 26th i was preggo.

Now my delima is, Joe wants NOTHING to do wit me or baby. and refuses to do a paternity test. and i understand why cause hes hurt i cheated on him.While Alex is in denial and keeps claiming to have no money for the paternity test. Joe says if baby is his he will send a check, voluntaraily every month. Alex lives next door so i know he will be in babys life., but doesnt wanna have to pay mandatory child support.

I dont have the money to do the test on my own. but if i go through the state im required to press charges for child support. cont in a sec

Answer 1

Good grief girl, what have you gotten into? I know being the teenagers you are you think you can handle anything, but this is some serious adult stuff you've gotten involved in. (not that you need me to tell you that) I don't want to get too preachy because it detracts from the overall message and chances are you don't want to hear it or have heard all before. Anyway I take it that all this has taught you a lesson you won't be forgetting about maturity and responsibility.

I think you need to sit down and talk it out some with Alex and Joe to straighten some things out, and set some guidelines to see where it goes next after deciding on child support.

There is no easy answer babe, and I don't think I know you well enough to guide you on your path. I'm sorry darlin but that's life, we all have to pay for our mistakes eventually. Whatever you decide I hope it is the right decision for all involved.

Answer 2

Yes, press for child support and use that money to better your child's life.  

Suggestion...get an education.

Answer 3

Go to court and request a paternity test, find out for sure who the baby's father is and seek child support. The only reason a parent shouldn't seek child support is if it would put the child's safety or custodial parent's safety at risk to contact the absent parent. Otherwise, yes of course you should get it. Why wouldn't you? And don't you think this kid deserves to know who it's father actually is? That's not something you just casually put to the side...

In response to .."well yes i think he should know who daddy is. but Im afraid for later in life when he asks me why daddy wants nothing to do wit him what im suppose to say"

I hear you- that's a tough one but you still have to be able to tell him who his bio dad is. If you let him believe it's someone else while he's growing up and then he finds out as an adult that his dad isn't actually his dad he'll feel like he was lied to his entire life. He deserves to know the truth. You can tell him the truth without saying his dad is a deadbeat loser- just say he lives far away and that you and him aren't friends anymore. As he gets older he'll start to understand on his own and that's something he will come to terms with. Who knows- if the guy gets a solid confirmation that the kid is his he might step up to the plate. Either way, don't lie to him about who is dad is- find out for sure. And get that child support- you're going to need it! Especially if you plan to avoid state assistance. Good luck & hang in there! =]

Answer 4

u would say press for child support/ whether or not they wish to be in baby's life you cant do it on you own. Financially. Besides it will be better to know who the daddy is anyways. And who cares if alex doesn;t want to pay child support if he is the father then he needs to as well as joe. And what the heck girl your only 17 and you "decided to have s*x with alex one last time"

anyways nomb.. but! do you get wic? cashfoodaid or anything like that. im sure you qualify. that will help out a lot not just for you and the baby but for your parents too so they dont have to help so much.

Answer 5

if u think its good for you and your child it doesnt matter what any man thinks as long as its a good desision for you and the baby!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

This baby has 2 parents.  You cannot be responsible for everything yourself.  You need to take it into court.  DO NOT count on voluntary payments.  Most of us women that have been through that find out that once another woman is in that guy's life, the support stops and it takes a while to get it going.  Go to the court, that baby deserves the support.

Answer 7

i said go for it he need to pay y do guys with they can sleep and leave i say do what you gotta go

Answer 8

Go for child support, tho you might not ever get any.  My grandson doesn't and his mom is tight on cash for food and childcare while she works overtime to make ends meet.  It's the father's financial responsibility to care for what he "made".  Get the paternity test.  It doesn't matter who the daddy is, just make him "man up" to what he did.

Answer 9

go for the support it is for the child not you, you need to quit s******g everybody and get an education,and a real job, so the tax payers dont have to support you and your useless baby daddy