Child with Asbergers?

Question

I'm having a problem with a kid in our choir who has Asberger's syndrome. He seems to have formed some kind of attachment to me and he keeps trying to come on to me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I have a problem with him doing this and my friends in the choir have only made it worse by egging him on. How do I keep him from doing this without hurting him. By the way, he's in 6th grade and I'm a senior. I just don't want to hurt him and I don't want him doing this anymore.

Answer 1

People with Aspergers seem very blackhearted or annoying. I know because i am one! Believe me i am ultra sensitive underneath my anger and bitterness. People used too tell  me all the time that i was annoying and i did'nt know why, they always got the wrong impression . It all depends on degree's is he coming onto you as in physical contact or abusing you in a harsh inapproprate way. On most cases, aspergers are always gullible in body language, they do not pick up on these signals but considered intellectual in thoery.

They like being blunt, so tell he straight. I like too know where i stand, so do everyone else. I cannot stand mind games or diplomatic verbal abuse. That is deceptive, tell him how? it is. It could hurt but he will get over it and find another crush.

Answer 2

Many people with Aspergers do have obsessive tendencies.  However, if you really feel uncomfortable then you need to act.  Then again, you have just a couple of weeks left, so it's your call.  

One thing about kids with Asperger's is they do not process language then way we do.  Writing it down is usually the best way.  The teacher of the choir could create a contract.  XX (Child's name) will not talk to XX (your name).  If XX (child's name) continues to talk to XX (your name), then XX(Child's name) will not be allowed to attend choir practice for one day. Signed X___ (him)  X  ___(choir teacher).   It needs to state his name and your name.  He's, she's and it's can make them confused and stop the processing.  

I'm sorry for both you and the boy that all this is going on and your friends are too immature to see what's going on here!  

Thank you for being kind to him!

Answer 3

its a phase asbergers or not hes still a child and i would try not to give him attention unless you have to . its hard when dealing with kids with special needs but that doesnt mean you have to baby him and put up with it . just be short with him and hopefully it will pass soon

Answer 4

Aspergers isn't a "disease"....My son has it.  Reading social cues is a very difficult thing.  So even though you may think you're actions should be clear enough for him to understand, he most likely won't until you verbalize it to him.  Be professional, but to the point.  Don't use any symbolic language, since this can also be  hard thing for AS people to understand.

Answer 5

I think by being honest with him, and telling him up front your expectations about having a relationship aren't realistic.  You need to be plain and frank about what you want.  You also need to tell your friends they are mean and unkind to egg someone on who doesn't have the best social skills into something that could turn out painful.  Your and his life are not a soap opera for their entertainment.

If your friends keep egging him on, perhaps they really aren't your friends, or his either.  

Have you talked to your and his teacher about this?  They would have some insight as to what to do also, since they know him very well.

Answer 6

Try to talk to his parents and explain what is going on.  Tell them about your friends and that you are not encouraging it.  Explain that you don't want to hurt their son's feelings, but that his actions are making you feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Often, kids with Aspbergers just don't "get" social cues, so it might be better for his parents to tell it to him straight.  

Hope this helps.