Children's trading, what else can I do?

Question

Sorry; that should say "sought their permission"

Answer 1

When you said "trade" I think of them just borrowing each others games for a short period of time. At least that is what trading means to me unless you specify its a permanent trade. My son is going into the second grade but when he was in the 1st grade he was also giving things to his friends that I had just bought my son. I just told my son to get it back and not to be giving things away again..lol..

Try telling your son that when you buy things its for him and him only. If a friend wants to BORROW it then that means they have to giv eit back after a week or so.

Answer 2

It's a very "sensitive" situation right now. It reminds me when my daughter "disagrees" with one of her girlfriends, they fight over it, I get a "heartburn" because I know, both girls are crushed, and after a couple of days, they are back together and "best friends"! My son got only this year for his birthday, his PSP. I immediately became a member of "GameStop" and when he gets tired and bored of his games, we go to the store, sell our game and buy another used game. Check in your neighborhood of their store. Let both boys, think about things, and I suggest, you don't get involved any further. It hurts as a parent but the "heartburn" is worse, if you ask me...:-)

Answer 3

You did the right thing! I would had done the same.

Games are $30-50 each did you tell that momma that!

Answer 4

well boys will be boys , just buy the game then say your kids friend gave it back to him your kid will be happy.Also its no use getting into a fight with the kids mother over this its between the 2 kids not between the parents and yes boys will be boys.

Answer 5

They are only 8/9 and they will get over it. it's all part of growing up.  I soon realised that the best option is to make a rule not to trade any games at all.

Answer 6

He'll get over it.

Answer 7

Start renting games lots of them. Make them play them until they get bored to death...  .nah that doesn't happen.

AT any rate rent the game and then when rental is doen the kid can start earning money from chores to rent it again or buy it.

Life happens and unless it was unfair like older boys taking advantage of situation then he will learn and he isn't going to die from not getting a game he wants.  He may however grow more responsible having to EARN something he wants. (or at the very least earn 1/2 the cost of it)

Kids tend to value things mroe if they have to contribute

Answer 8

A) you shouldn't have made your son give the game back

B) You shouldn't prevent him from trading in the future

He is old enough to understand cause/effect and action/consequence, but if you keep stepping in, you will prevent him from doing so.

Answer 9

First off, the other boys' mother gave a lousy response.  She's clearly detached and not willing to look at this situation for what it really is.

For your specific situation, I'd first empathize with your son.  He's felt some pain, disappointment, etc.  Give him a chance to vocalize these things to you.  Let him you know that you can tell that this is a troubling thing for him and that you feel badly that his friends decision hurt him (your son) in this way.

It might seem a little late for this advice maybe but one thing I tell my sons is "don't give a gift unless you're going to give it willingly."  In other words, we all want to do nice things for people and sometimes we make sacrifices to do so; like, for instance, your son making a sacrifice by giving this kid back the game even though the other child was clearly acting inappropriately by breaking the established rules.  Your son sacrificed something important to him (the game) for something he deemed more important (the friendship).  On principal alone, this seems like a decent thing, and it can be.

The problem people (children and adults alike) run into is when the supposed act of good will leaves the person (in this case, your son) with an abiding, residual feeling of resent and upset.  Your son must be true to himself before anyone else, even to his friend.  Even if your son felt that it would be best to give the game back, explain to him that the next time that he encounters something like this that he should take an introspective look inside to judge how he (your son) might feel about this decision a week or two from now.

If he has serious concerns as to whether he would harbor ill will towards this other kid because of this act, then he should NOT do it.

I understand this is a very "adult" concept, one that many adults don't have mastered (I myself included) but I have found it to be very rewarding if it is followed.  It can be difficult.  In your sons case, I imagine that he didn't want to offend his friend.  Also, this child may have been his friend for a long time.  There are many things that could have gone into his decision to give the game back.  Your son shouldn't be told he did something wrong, of course.  But seek to empower him by encouraging him to really search out his feelings should he come up against a situation like this again...and he undoubtedly will, at some point in his life.  It's hard, because often sticking up for yourself feels like it's selfish but we have to fight the urge to punish ourselves for drawing boundaries for ourselves.

Answer 10

Sounds like you made a great decision. No one wants to see their kid get hurt (physically, emotionally, spiritually).  The way the other mom reacted tells me alot about how the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.  If you can forgive her it might set an example for your son to forgive his friend which is all you can do to get peace with the situation from this point anyway.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

So the friend changed his mind because he didn't like the game afterall and decided it was a bad deal/trade?

How about from now instead of trading to keep, they borrow eachother's games for a couple days?

Answer 12

Everyday I send my child off into the world I tell her "don't let anyone else steal your joy" - there are people out there who will do what they can to hurt you (some intentionally some not). It hurts as a parent to see my child left out of games or called a bad name but I reassure her that its not her it's them - move on. I think its harder for us a parents to sit back and not do anything but we have to teach our children how to survive in the real world.

In that world, your own boss or supervisor will do what he or she can to bring you down to their level.

Remember, we are raising children to be adults, its hard but its probably best you teach him how to cope with that type of problem then if you step in to intervene. Because next month they will be best friends again and you will still be angry.

Also join a game rental program!