Children Have Fears Right??

Question

Ok so if children have fears then its reasonable to assume that adults have them as well. Well my childrens pediatrician told me that i as a mom have an unhealthy fear of spiders because if i see them i go oooohhh eeeee get it awat from me etc....I don't consider my fear to be unhealthy i just don't like spiders. do you think its unhealthy to freak out and do the up on the chair dance when i see spiders ot would you consider this normal for a woman? Could this affect my children negatively?

Answer 1

Fears are natural. I don't think you should act so extremely around your children though. It could turn into an unhealthy fear in them.  

Answer 2

I have a fear of ALL bugs. I don't care whether they are harmless or not i just think they're... well... ICKY!!!!! Ew it's just like GROSS! And i also have a fear of balloons popping. Which probably has nothing to do with this but whatever. I just get freaked out by the loud noise!!! I'm not afraid of other loud noises just the balloons popping! I hate when bugs are in our house. I don't like the feeling of bugs around when i sleep. I feel like they're just gonna like come up and crawl on me while i'm sleeping. Hahaha whatever.

Answer 3

It's hard, but we have to try not to freak out on our fears in front of kids. yeah, they do pick it up from us. My sisters kids feared dogs because of her. Luckily, getting a puppy a few years later solved that.

Answer 4

What your doctor is trying to tell you is that if your children see you spazzing out over spiders they will do the same. But yes, everybody has fears.  

Answer 5

I think its obvious that children imitate.   Thats how they learn.  Thats how they learn to talk, walk, and behave.

Answer 6

I went to a bug seminar at our local library where you could get up close and personal with bugs and I am not as afraid of bugs as I used to be.

My husband is obsessed with bugs. he even collects them, studies them, and takes pictures of them.

That being said, our kids are naturally, by instinct, scared of bugs. Even after they see my husband, without fear, hold bugs and get up close and personal with them.

That doctor is full of BS.

Answer 7

Just because YOU have a fear doesn't mean your child will!

Pissha!

I have a huge fear of waterbugs/roaches.  My 4 year old picks them up when I spray them to death (with a napkin).

She has NEVER been afraid of them.

It's healthy to show fear of something reasonable IMHO.  If you have a fear of spiders you could spare your child the pain of being bit by one.

If you share your fear of getting hit by a car, your child may think twice before going.

I have a fear of my child getting kidnapped.  I drill it into her.

Healthy or not, I'd rather her run towards me than away when a stranger approaches.

Fear to an extent IS healthy.

Answer 8

Its psychology.  

If you are so terrified you wont go near a spider, your child will be as well.

Yes, fears are normal, but when a child is learning, they are going to pick up your fears. Children look to their parents as the be all end all.  If something is so bad that even mommy is that afraid of it, they wont want to be anywhere near it, and may even end up more afraid of them than you are.

I can see it in myself.  And if you think very hard, I bet you can too.  I am terrified of spiders.  Growing up, so was my aunt.  I dont like heights.  My mom is petrified of heights and would never let me go on anything high.

Our children learn what we show them.  You are showing your child that a spider is a huge horrible thing.  You are teaching your child to be just as scared as you are, if not worse.

By the way, when you are jumping on chairs, its no longer a fear, and its a phobia.

Answer 9

im afraid of spiders too i scream and people get mad at me but oh well its not unhealthy i do the same thing.

Answer 10

It's okay to be afraid of bugs, I wouldn't worry to much about it.  Fears become unhealthy when they turn into a phobia or when you scared of everything.  That's when you know you need to talk to someone.

Answer 11

well, I am not afraid of insects but my daughter is terrified of them.  She didn't get that fear from me.  She totally freaks and jumps in my lap and thinks a small little mosquito is going to eat her alive.  Or a cute little lizard she calls "creatures" are also going to eat her.  I pick up the lizards and play with them and put them outside to run off and play.   And this girl is 13!!!

If she didn't get that fear from me, where did she get it from?  I think we all have our own fears we develop on our own, just like our personalities are our own.  Not because we are mimicking everything mom or dad does.

Answer 12

I hate spiders too I totally scream or stand this in fear when I see them, they are all creepy crawly and there legs are long! Its totally not unhealthy for anyone to be freaked out at something..its normal and its wont affect your kids, except they may laugh at their mom standing on the chair screaming. :)

Answer 13

well I am not only afraid of spiders, I am afraid of ALL bugs, even ants. I have 4 boys, not one of them is afraid of bugs even though I have always "freaked out" when I see one. They just laugh at me. I do think it's possible to pass on the fear so when they were little I did try to hide it as best I could but now that they are older (13, 13 11 and 8) I don't bother to hide it. They aren't bothered by bugs. My mom has always been terrified of bugs as well, worse than me even.

One time I actually picked up a spider by mistake thinking it was a fuzz ball. As soon as I realized what I had just picked up I dropped and I literally had a panic attack. I couldn't breath and I was shaking and sweating, it was crazy. I am just terrified of them.

My youngest son is terrified of thunder storms and no one else in the house is at all, so where would that come from? I agree with you everyone has their own fears and sometimes they outgrow them and sometimes they don't.

Answer 14

The Dr knows that you will pass along your fears to your children, warranted or not. You need to at least put on a brave front for their sakes. As long as you're not an insect, spiders are very seldom a threat.

My m-in-law was terribly afraid of lightning storms and made her son hide under the bed. We've been married 39 years, and he still doesn't enjoy watching them the way I do.

Answer 15

Well it could be unhealthy...you could fall out of the chair and break your neck, knock yourself out or more.  You just have to look at all the possibilities.