Children and sleepover problems.....?

Question

What do you do when your child has a sleepover (example: 8 year old girls) and she and her friend can't get along...constant competition and bickering??

Answer 1

OH, I know what that is like. It is LOVE and than HATE. Extreme to extreme. They hate the person, but than beg to have them over. My daughter wrote in her journal "I don't like so and so because.....". She wrote it when she was upset. Anyway that girl read her journal and showed it to her mom. That caused alot of hurt feelings. My take is that you can vent all you want in journals. It should NOT have been read. Sorry about your hurt feelings, but you should not have read it. We think mean things and even write them out when we are mad. that is what journals are for... healthy expression of anger, instead of taking it out on that person.

The reason why I told you that is so you don't feel alone. You are not the only parent that has the dramatics in her house! lol... What I do is when the girls that fight want to come over... and my daughter wants them too... I just say once rarely. Like once a month they can come over and not for sleepovers. The kids she gets along with can spend all sorts of time here. But the ones that she clashes with only come ocassionally and for a few hours at a time. I know that my daughter needs to find her way in life... but it should not make mommy insane, lol! So I put a limit on that. Other than that... I don't say much... they need to figure out things for themselves.

Answer 2

tell her "_____ you need to get some new friends"  if she asks why tell her what you think

Answer 3

I think 8 yr olds are too young to sleepover unless you are constantly involved in their activities,  that is a pain in the neck as far as i'm concerned.

Answer 4

make them share something

Answer 5

maybe they arent as good of friends as you thought they were. i'm a kid and i have a different sleepover problem....but let's not go there. sorry if this wasnt helpful. but at least theres always next time, eh?

Answer 6

If everyone is there separate them let them sleep in two rooms. and next time tell ur child not to invite people who are not friends

Answer 7

u got a little brat daughter.

stop having sleepovers??

friends are suppose to have fun not bicker like siblings. They obviously need a long break from eachother.

Tell your daughter not to play with them for a while and start making new friends.

It will work trust me i have 12 kids.

Answer 8

uh... then i guess they arnt really friends

- have your daughter invite someone eles over for a change

Answer 9

Just tell your daughter and her guest that the behavior has to change or you'll call the parent of the guest - and have them picked up.  And then - FOLLOW THROUGH.  If you really do this - your child will probably never "compete or bicker" again when having a sleep over.

You don't have to be mean about it.  Just give them a CHOICE.  Calmly say - "Gosh - I thought you girls wanted to have this sleep over so you could have some fun.  Your behavior certainly doesn't show that you're having any fun.  In fact - it's unacceptable.  So - here's your choice.  You can stop bickering and being so competitive - or I'll have to call "Cindy's" parents and have them come and pick her up.  In fact - I can do that right now if you want.  Is that what you want me to do?  No?  Okay then.  I'll need to see the behavior change - right now - or I'll be calling Cindy's parents.  Do you understand?"

And then - if they misbehave - CALL THE GIRL's PARENTS and apologize - but explain that it just wasn't working out.  The other parents WILL understand.  I'm sure they don't want their child in a "competitive and bickering" environment for a whole evening.

The next time a sleepover is going to happen - explain very clearly what is expected and what the consequences will be if the behavior is not what it should be.

Following through is the MOST effective way to get proper behavior out of kids.  If children know that they WILL receive the consequences you've agreed upon - they will behave.

Answer 10

Ask your child if she is really friends with this girl, if she wants to have her over again, ask her why? This way, your daughter may realize she really doesn't want that girl over again.

Answer 11

I wouldn't say they should be having a sleep over if they are fighting the entire time, maybe you could try setting them both down and trying to get to the bottom of the fighting, the only thing I can think of is trying to resolve the problem that they are fighting about, if they can not respect each other explain to them that there will not be anymore sleep overs. They also could be bored so maybe look online for some arts and crafts that they could do.

Answer 12

Get them to explain to you in private about how it started. Then figure a way to resolve it for both of the girls to be happy. If they won't stop, then just get them to do something fun to take their minds off the situation. Kind of like distracting them from the problem. Hope theis helps.

Answer 13

dont invite that friend

Answer 14

get them involved in a project where they have to work together like baking or making homemade playdoh. One thing I do is make them sit back to back and one of them has a picture that they have to describe to the other and the other one has to draw what is being described to them. It is funny to see what the drawings look like. Also you can offer prizes to the one who treats everyone the nicest and does not fight with the others. Make sure you have enough for everyone because they may all try to treat each other well to win the prize. This has always worked for me. I hope this helps.

Answer 15

Sounds like a bunch of girly drama. Let them settle it themselves. They need to learn not to do that type of stuff. Sometimes it's best to let it go. I've learned with 5 girls, girls will be girls. Let most of it go.

If it gets really bad, they get 1 warning, and 1 only. If something bad happens again, your daughters friend can go home. One time you do that, they won't have drama again.

Answer 16

Tell them If they don't stop you'll send the other girl home. If they don't stop, do IT . you'll only have to do it once I promise. they may not stop arguing but they wont do it around you

Answer 17

It's possible they have spent to much time with each other, and need a slight break... You need to let them both know, that if when they have a sleepover with each other, they can not get along, then they are going to loose out on being able to have any more sleepovers for a while. As far as *friends shouldn't bicker like siblings*.. I disagree.. When you are friends w someone for long enough, you become close, like sisters.. And yes, everyone has their own arguments and disagreements, but best friends make up. . Try 2 allow the girls to have some space, and perhaps another girl sleepover. If the problem happens with another girl, then maybe your daughter needs a break from sleepovers in general. Hope I helped..

Answer 18

try to get through the night /day or give them something special do to like go somewhere fun like the movies

Answer 19

If they can't get along then they're probably not friends.