Children being raised by both parents: Your opinion?

Question

I had my son at a young age. Fresh out of high school at the age of 18. At that time my boyfriend(who is now my "babydaddy") was happy I was having his first born child. We were young but in love.

Ok so I had my beautiful son.....in the back seat of my mothers brand new 1993 Toyota Camry (that's another topic...lol) my sons father was away @college at the time so basically he was not there during the birth, well yrs went by...blah blah blah and guess what?

Well you know the story!

I ended up raising my son on my own. Now I am married now, I have a step-son who is the same age as my son....cool beans right, well my question to you is, do you think both parents should raise a child? Should they be married? Do you think a child/children are affected when both parents aren't around?

Answer 1

Yes they are affected HOWEVER,if the step dad does a good job of parenting and your kids feel loved,and you are both kind patient understanding with them discipline them when they need it supervise them then there should be no problem.You and your husband set the example you want them to follow.

Answer 2

yeah i think in most cases its the healthiest thing for the child to be raised by both parents, like thats typically the way its supposed to be. i mean i know this kid whos 15 and his moms 30.. he lives w. his grandparents theyre more of parents to him and his mom is more like a freind.. hes not that screwed up but i mean what happens when the grandparents die? i think the parents of a kid shouold always try to make it work between them, there are so many kids who have a lot of stored up anger from not knowing one parent. the only situation that i thnk its ok is if one parent is a threat to the child or other parents' well being. basically it depends on the situation, but in most cases, i thnk yes, the parents shouold try to work it out and be a couple AND parents for the child.

Answer 3

I think children can initially be affected if parents aren't together or are together. It is more or so, do both of their parents have a healthy bond and good speaking grounds, and are both parents mature on working together to sort out grounds on how they make parent-ship work when together or are not. Children sense tension which is not healthy and i certainly do not agree on those being together just for the sake of this matter but only agree if they are there if they have a willingness and it is on the grounds of love, understanding and a genuine bond.

Often what people tend to forget is however much it would be nice to have both parents raising their children together, you have to think about the child's welfare and consider yourself two as whether realistically you both have it in yourselves in either uniting or being strong enough to arrange suitable ways in which your child will get the loving, care and support from both sides.

I think the main factor here is focusing on your child, focusing on the well-being of child in ways of how are you going to ensure they have a satisfactory childhood. Satisfactory is an indicator of the responsibility both parents take. You cannot force two people to be together, but you certainly can work together to ensure that your child's welfare, safety, health and much more than fine.

In regards to your situation, your child is blessed to have a father figure in his life being his step father. But i pray that your child will be given access to his father if he does come back into contact, possibly he may even decide whether he wants him there or not. But to give your child access is a blessing as you are given him the chance to know his father, in a way sadly in may have not been possible with you both but it does not mean that it will be the same.

Your child may be affected that his actually father is not there, but is how you bring him up, speech about his father (which i hope you will allow him to decide on how he see's things and if negative, try to bring openness to seeing his father as a being of good not only the negative). Also telling him how blessed he is to have someone who does want to pass on some of his upbringing, teachings and lessons in life on to him, which is his step father.

Congratulations in regards to your current marriage and future blessings ;-).

Answer 4

In your case I wouldn't worry, your son basically has two parents in his life because you're married. But in general, yes, I think it does affect children when they grow up without both their parents in their life.

Answer 5

The ideal way to raise a child is by both parents, married and in love. If a marriage is solid and healthy, a child will turn out a good person, just like we want all our kids to turn out, good people!

But I think we all know this case is not always the one for many mothers and fathers who raise their children on their own without the mother or father figure, some come out all right and others don`t.

But it all depends on the individual who raises them. It`s harder, that`s for sure. It`s always better to have some help, not only physical, but mentallly, to analize our child`s behavior, and what`s the best punishment, how to deal with situations...etc.

However, as long as the mother or father is a stable and responsible parent, the kids will be just fine.  

Answer 6

You know the answers to these questions. Of course, the ideal situation is for a child to be raised by married parents. But that doesn't mean that those who are not turn into serial killers. You do the best you can with what you've got. And I'm sure you did fine.  

Answer 7

I do think both parents should raise a child but that's not always possible.

I don't think a fake, forced or unhappy marriage is the answer for raising children. I hate when people "stay together for the kids". Kids sense tension, anger and a lack of joy and love and that just teaches them that marriage is unloving and that's how it should be and feel.

I think it's better when a child has their mother and father healthfully involved in their lives but I don't believe that it has to be that way for kids to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. There are millions of single parent families out there, step-parents, grandparents, aunt & uncles etc. and same-s*x couples raising children and they are doing an amazing job.

What kids need is love and a sense of home and belonging with parents that pay attention to them, and keep them safe...teaching them about life and love and respect and how to be great people.

Are kids affected by absent, dead, imprisoned parents? Of course, but kids are resilient and everyone has life happen to them. What matters is how you handle it and how others support you and love you during those trials.  

Answer 8

I say it does affect a child when the other parent is not around.  Its bad when the other parent is not living in the household, but is in the child life where the child got to leave his home and spend time with the other parent at his or her house, where they come involve with step-ma or step- dad and their children's. Its seens like its always a problem with the child going into another home. So I think 2 parents raising children is much better.  

Answer 9

I think it is very important for a child, be it male or female to have a father figure AND a mother figure. Its not that sigle parents are incapable of raising kids, but having both parents shows kids a structure and stability in living. My wife and I also swear by "day-care" i just think that the kids gain a great deal of knowledge from being able to play and coincide with each other at such a young age, my son gets to play with other boys, girls, different "ethnicity", different ages of kids, just the whole spectrum, i findday care kids seem to grasp speaking better as well as other stuff. they know how to interact better.