Children eating in restaurants continued...?

Question

I originally posted this question, but I think that I wasn't clear enough in the original one. So I'm trying again :)

I have two children, who behave extremely well in restaurants and we do eat out frequently. I tip very generously, not because they act out, but because I know we leave behind more mess and require more attention than others.

My questions is this: When we go into an establishment sometimes we are given dirty looks before our seats are even warm, or the waitstaff doesn't come over to us for 10 minutes or more. I am just curious to know if maybe the person had such a bad experience with a child eating near them that they initially expect all children to behave badly. My children have manners and do not disrupt others. Lots of times those same people have come up to us to comment on how great the kids do. I am just wondering what you guys think. I'm definitely teaching my children manners, and if they were disruptive I would leave so others could enjoy their dinner.

Answer 1

seriously as long as you are eating in "family restaurants" and they are reasonably well behaved for their ages you have every right to be there, as for fancier places if your children are fine than those people should really just get over it. I take my kids out too and have had similar experiences, basically these people don't have kids and don't realise that it's hard to get out on your own and sometimes it's nice to have a family dinner at a restaurant

Answer 2

I have worked in restaurants for years and I have seen the good, bad and ugly when it comes to kids.  I have seen kids scream, throw food, run up and down the aisles and the parents act like they can't hear or see a thing.  I say bravo to you for teaching your children manners.  I know all children aren't alike but sometimes you dread waiting on people with children because of the pickiness, the temper tantrums, not to mention the mess.  And lots of times the tips aren't that great.  The meaner or messier the kids the less of a tip.  It's sad I know.

Answer 3

I've been a server for five years in a few different restaurants, and most people dread waiting on tables with children. Most people do not control their children- I've had kids drawing on the walls, eating crayons, and throwing food while their parents either ignore their existence or just let the disruptive behavior continue. I always compliment parents with well behaved children - it's a bit of a rarity. We make 2.83 per hour- a lot of people think they tip well when in reality they tip very poorly. I've had people who tell me what a great server I am and wait until they personally hand me two dollars to leave, like it's this amazing tip. Make sure you are actually tipping correctly for the service you received, or people won't want to wait on you. Also, if you're a huge pain and CONSTANTLY need things or are very picky or rude the wait staff will fight over who has to wait on you because no one will want the hassle even for a decent tip. Having a table constantly needing your attention hinders your time and service to other guests. Let's see, I dunno what else I can think of- except that kid's meals are quite a bit cheaper. This makes our guest check average lower, and our tips lower. Some restaurants require you to have a certain guest check average, beverage percentage, etc. So yeah... chances are if you aren't tipping really well or if you make a huge mess (mac and cheese on the floor, tons of trash all over the table, etc), or are forever needing something, no one is going to wait on you. If none of this is the case, the servers in your area are horrible and care nothing for their guests. Hope I helped...  =]

In response- Easier to put all the trash on one plate as long as their isn't silverware piled underneath. If there is, we have to pick through your trash to remove it. As for drinking a lot of tea, just ask for a few extra teabags and a carafe of hot water- If it's iced tea, perhaps a pitcher. Then the server isn't constantly running back and forth. Spills are to be expected sometimes - kids will be kids. I keep Shout wipes and a Tide pen in my apron pocket for when people spill things on themselves and give lots of extra napkins if they aren't on the table as well.  =)

Answer 4

Probably bad experience from other diners. I'm sorry that your kids have to bear that burden.

Once, my husband and I saw a couple of cows and their crotch fruit create a huge mess on the table, throw food on the floor, grind it in with their nasty feet, and leave without a tip. The waitress came back after they left and started to cry a little. My husband left a $20 tip on our $15 tab and told her "it's for them, too". I think she cried a little more.

Answer 5

Back when I was a kid I could count on one hand the number of times I was taken to a restaurant. It wasn't that we were badly behaved, it was just that my parents believed that restaurants were for adults.

Of course family restaurants didn't really exist outside of HoJo's back in the 60s.

Answer 6

I remember when my daughter was four, taking her to the Mason Jar on I-10 and being refused service.  They didn't even seat us!  They had a no kids under five policy.  It's just a mid-range establishment.  I can see where Mark's American Cuisine or The Melting Pot could refuse to wait on children especially at The Melting Pot, where the meal can last 3 hours or more.  But families with small children deserve a fun night out too.  It's a shame that a few spoiled children have spoiled things for the families with those well behaved little angels.

AND no tipping---don't even get me started.

There's just no excuse for that!

Answer 7

I am not sure of your childrens ages, but if very young and you need service proptly when seated just tell the hostess.  I too was raised with manners so was able to dine at age four and five in the best restaurants.  I would not worry about it really, as long as things go ok.  Trust me, you don't have to have kids to have these experiences.  I give dirty looks to those screaming on there cell phones, I hate that, take it to the lobby.  TY for raising great kids.

Answer 8

congratulatons on teaching your kids manners. However, you must remember that they are YOUR kids and your opinion of them may be naturally a little biased. You may have under estimated what disruptive behaviour may be to other people. Your well behaved children just maybe someone elses attention grabbing, big-mess-leavers.

Answer 9

We experienced the same thing - our children were also well behaved, and we too left larger tips for the same reason.

But... Most children are a disruption to other people's dining experience, so they anticipate the worst.

Just take pride in showing the wait staff and other diners that your children are the exception.

And remember, you don't have to go back to a restaurant that does not treat you well.

Answer 10

Good day,

I read you pain. Let me also say Koddos to you.you do realize that dinners w/ children are more work all the way around.

Now let me give you the other side..Some children are not well

behaved, and spill and leave a large mess.. Most wait staff depend upon tips and turning tables quickly for their living. It also  takes more time to wait on family's and they dine longer. May I suggest that you dine not in prime times- before 11 and after 2 during the day and if you dine some where often ask for the wait person you had before, Sorry that so many have gone before you and left a bad taste, so here's to happy dinning experinces....(gm for 23 years in Texas)