Children from different Biological Men?

Question

Say you have 2 children from different men one is not and has never been around, the other is your husband and father to both since birth, the children are treated the same, look like each other same features as the mom no traits of the fathers. When they are older is one or the other going to have negative feelings about the situation?

Experienced answers please, I am approaching school age time flys, should I change ones last name to the same as the other, at this point and time I have the same last name as our son and my daughter has the same last name as my husband. Would it be best to change all names to avoid the issue for as long as I can?

Answer 1

I would change your son's last name to match.  I grew up with a different last name as my immediate family.  And, it made me feel different and ostracized.  Especially when it came to school events.  

Answer 2

What issue are you trying to avoid? Does your oldest know that he/she has a different dad? If they know then I don't see why it would be a problem. If the father is not in his life at all then I think it would be a good idea to change his last name to yours.

My oldest is 9 and has a different dad, his father wasn't in his life for about 8 years. My son still has his last name. I figured when he is old enough he can decide what he wants his last name to be. But my son is not treated any differently in any situation. I don't see why your child would have any negative feelings about the situation, unless you have them. As long as your child has a daddy that cares for him like his own then there shouldn't be too many problems, He may get curious when he is a teenager or older. Just tell him that his biological father wasn't ready to grow up yet, and it was not his fault in any way.  

Answer 3

Change all your last names to match your husband's. I'm going through the same issue now, except my oldest daughter is asking me why my name is different than hers...and she's only 4! So, I say change the name, especially if the child's biological dad is not around and never has been.

Answer 4

You can either change, or combine and hyphenate.  For example, if his last name is Taylor, and yours is Jones, you could adopt Jones-Taylor for all of you.