Children must learn to accept bullying in brick schools as a part of life, because it is so prevalent?

Question

I’ve also been told that that will “teach” them to “deal” with bullying and somehow prepare them for healthy social lives as adults. By that same reasoning, should we all have our daughter’s preemptively raped as minors? After all, statistics say one in four women are molested as girls or raped as adults. Are we denying our children important life lessons by keeping them from being molested? And if you don’t believe that being raped as a child better prepares you for a healthy s*x life as an adult, but you do believe that being bullied, beaten and routinely battered down in school somehow makes you better able to handle social situations as an adult, could you explain the difference to me?

I simply do not see it.

Answer 1

I have a couple theories on this one.  

1)  These people support school culture which includes bullying because as younger people they wanted to be an accepted part of it.  As adults they continue to venerate the twisted youth culture they saw as youths, on some level.  Saying the bullying is unacceptable means that culture itself is unacceptable, which they know they should say, according to adult society, but do not actually believe.

2)  They feel guilty because they are not willing to make the sacrifices and put in the effort to homeschool, and send their children to public school despite the bullying and other known problems.  They must justify this decision mentally to get rid of their discomfort with it, and find reasons which sound more acceptable.  This means focusing on educational superiority, and if that fails, socialization.  

3)  They actually believe that being abused can be good for a person's development.

Answer 2

Bullying is prevalent in schools because that is what happens when you get 30 kids all the same age in the same room.  

They call it socialization. That is just so wrong. So FAKE. No wonder our kids are coming out of school with so many problems.

IF Abraham Lincoln can be home schooled and he got to be president, then why cant we home school our kids and let them be the best they can be?  Instead we get told that Home schooliing is bad for the kids because they MUST HAVE SOCIALIZATION.

In the work place we do NOT work with people all the same age as us. We work with people of all age groups. So whoever thought up this cookie cutter idea of education was so out of touch with the real world at the time.  And all those cookie cutter people in government just keep repeating the cookie cutter words they were programmed with. Bullying in the work place is a NO-NO, so why is it acceptable at school? You're right to ask this question.

I was bullied all through school. And I have suffered for it. I dont have any self esteem, or self respect, I certainly dont have any education, and I cannot keep a job for any length of time. Bullying is BAD.

Surprisingly enough I am not a home school mother - because my kids have issues, and I too have issues (left over from the cookie cutter school I went to as stated above ). Also we live in an apartment, and we simply dont have any room for all of us to be around the home all day every day.  So I NEED those  breaks from my kids.

However, If I was a normal human being with no issues, and we lived in a 3 bedroom house,  you can bet I would be home schooling.

The advantages of sending my kid to school is that he has become very independent for a 5 year old. Very sociable, but he will talk to anyone - ask anyone a question - adults, teenagers, anyone who will listen to him.

And he wants answers to his questions, which his 5 year old peers cannot answer for him. The older people can answer his questions,  which is why he talks to them. Thats how he learns, by asking questions and remembering answers.

He says he is being teased, and I just tell him to walk away and ignore them as much as he can. I also tell him that the bully probably is not very smart, because smart kids know that teasing is a bad thing to do.

Answer 3

I teach my kids Ken po, hap ki do and hand to hand combat, and I teach them not to be bullies, and not to be bullied...I would almost pity the fool that tried to force my 16 year old to do something against her will, that kid is downright dangerous..

Answer 4

?

Answer 5

I agree, it makes NO sense and is one of those "last ditch attempts" to "PROVE" homeschoolers shelter their kids.

Ha!

Your logic is simple and reasonable, and I will use that with anyone who gives me that old line of bs again. Thanks!

Answer 6

No one should ever accept bullying.This opinion in no way excuses the action of the violence of the person who committed it, but some of these youths who end up going off the deep end and shooting people in schools or malls were bullied.  I'm sure they had other problems, but when it continues for years to someone who is mentally unstable, who may have sought help from a teacher or parent and don't get it, the outcome can sometimes be quite tragic.  Bullying doesn't prepare anyone for anything, but will bring about social withdrawal.

Answer 7

I know what you mean.  I've seen the closed minded answer many times here on YA.   I have never heard the answer in real life because in real life people know that I work in the schools and I know a little of what children experience every day.  

The type of bad behavior that I see in school is not tolerated in the public work place.  People in the work force can be fired.  Children in the school cannot be expelled because it looks bad on the school's record and because it is a law that children must attend school. Many parents are not informed on their options for education.  Many kids learn that nothing will be done when they misbehave in public school,  so they continue to push the limits on socially unacceptable behavior.  They graduate with a diploma that means nothing except that they attended class.  They find a job, and are quickly 'let go' because they do not have an education and because they try the same antics that were accepted in school.  

I am not saying that all public school students are this way.   I am saying that the public schools need to provide an education for those who want an education and expell those who do not want an education.  It is a waste of time and money to attempt to educate a child who does not want to be educated.  The ones who do not want to be educated, are the ones who find their fun in bullying and making life miserable for the teachers and students around them.  It should be zero tolerance for bullying as it is for drugs and weapons. (sarcastically--yea right.)

Sorry for getting on the soap box here, but bullying should be stopped in the public school.

Answer 8

AS a bulling victim I can say this! When I moved to a new town I was placed in a new school. The first person I met was a very large girl who was seated behind me in class. Lucky me she was also the one to torment me until high school. Year after year! Some how we would end up in the same class. From third through 7th grade I had at least one class with this person. Daily I was tormented by her and her "friends." I received names such as insect and cockroach. I would have muddy foot prints on my rear end from her putting feet in my seat during class. She got up in front of everyone in my grade during lunch one day and told the everyone there that my father had raped me. She told them that was why my parents were divorcing. It was a lie but everyone believed it! She started a rumor that I was Saddam Hussian's niece because our last names RHYMED (during desert storm)! I remember those days with loathing! I begged my mom not to make me go to school! At the time she worked full time and could not home school me. Today I still have very few friends, I have a hard time approaching any one to make friends b/c I'm afraid that I would be teased or rejected. I firmly believe the only reason the bulling stopped was because when we got to High school they split our area in two because a new high school was opening in the area.

I agree with you bulling has no place in our schools or our society! I know my "social life" is in bad shape. I was beat down mentally so bad that I didn't care for a long time. I tried to commit suicide to escape the torment when I was in 6th grade. Now I have no desire to die early! I home school my children for several reasons. One of my kids has special needs but when I saw the signs of kids bulling my daughter is when I stood up and said NO SHE DESERVES BETTER! If the school won't stop it I WILL! Bullies have no place in this world! They need to learn young that it only tears lives apart! They have no right to hurt others just because they feel like it. It took a lot of therapy for me during high school to finally come to grips and start putting my life together. I may still not make friends easily as I would like but when I do its a life long friendship is a person I can trust completely. It may be a short list but I know they will not deliberately hurt me!

Answer 9

No, I do not believe children must learn to accept bullying as a part of life in "brick" schools or any other schools.

As a senior citizen, 66, and a substitute teacher in a large American school district, I don't believe I have to accept "bullying" by the students; but, I have been confronted with students who "get in my face", tell me they don't have to do what I ask them, verbally threaten me, refuse to do an assignment, and even walk out of the classroom!

I will not tolerate being "bullied", and neither should tolerate your child being "bullied". Confront your child's school board, administrators, and teachers if you believe your child is being "bullied".

Answer 10

I won't argue with you because I agree with you.

In "real" life (whatever that is supposed to mean) when adults are bullied they call the police, or they go somewhere else, they don't just lie down and take it day after day or at least they shouldn't.  When a woman stays with a man who beats her or otherwise abuses her, we all tell her she should just leave him, but when our kids are bullied we say to just ignore it.  It makes no sense at all.

Answer 11

Your question compelled me to search on "why is bullying important to social development"

One of the first page results is an article on the National Mental Health Information Center website...

The title of the page?  Bullying is not a fact of life.

Here is a quote from that site:

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Bullying is a form of ABUSE.

HARASSMENT AND VIOLENCE. Harassment and abuse are more accurate names for it. Parents and school personnel should no longer consider bullying “just a part of growing up.” It is harmful to both the perpetrators and the victims and is responsible for behavioral and emotional difficulties, long-term negative outcomes, and violence.

The National Institutes of Health (2000) recently reported that in the United States alone, bullying affects more than 5 million students in grades 6 through 11. One out of 7 students reported being victimized.

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I know I am not answering your question but thought this was interesting and relevant.