Choosing favorites with grandchildren?

Question

My step-father-in-law is starting to pick favorites with his grandchildren. My husband and I have a 3 year old daughter, which he sees a lot because my mother-in-law watches her while we're at work. My sister-in-law just had a son in May of this year and Papaw is already choosing my daughter over him. I am feeling extremely uncomfortable with this as I've never liked the idea of anyone choosing favorites (or at least making it known to everyone). I talked to him about it yesterday and told him he needs to try his best to treat them both equally. His excuse is that although he loves them both dearly, Myles is still only 3 months old and when he is able to play with him and take him to the park like he does my daughter, then it will be different. I don't know what to think or what to do about this. I know my MIL and my SIL are upset about it and I don't want them to start resenting my daughter because of it. I don't want Papaw to pick favorites as it makes everyone involved feel upset and uncomfortable. Plus, he will soon have a third grandchild. What's he going to do then?

Am I worried about this for a reason or am I reading too much into it? What do you think?

Answer 1

He may just be the type that does better with older kids. I'm sure when your nephew is older he will treat him the same way he does your daughter. Also a lot of men get nervous with babies.  I wouldn't worry right now.  If he is still doing it when the baby gets older then I would address it again.

Answer 2

grandpa's are funny with new babies. My dad wasn't too interested in my daughter when she was first born, I mean he loved her and held her but he was very frigid with her, now she is 5 months and he loves to play with her, but isn't really too involved with my sister's newborn, just because he is small. It's not that he loves your daughter more at all, he loves your sister baby just as much, he can just do more with your child right now, and when he can do that with her child he will. Enjoy it now because soon your daughter won't be getting as much attention because there will be 2 that he can play with and he will play with them both.  

Answer 3

I think when Myles gets a little older, things will be different (and the same for his future grandchildren).  A lot of men associate w/ toddlers better than they do babies.  Your daughter is at the "fun" age for him.  Just give it time.

Answer 4

I think you are reading to much into it!  Men don't know what to do with babies.  Especially men who are from an era where women did all the baby things!  Your child is old enough to listen and be fun, babies cry and p**p and men don't want to deal with it!  I would expect as the new baby gets to be more fun, grandpa will show more interest!  How did he treat your child when she was a newborn.  Did he fawn all over her, or step back and wait till she was more fun!!