Christian Parents: Would you be upset to learn that your kid's teacher uses "WWJD" to get your child to behave

Question

I know there's a seperation of church and state but I was desperate.

There's a openly religious child in my class who was a problem child for about a month last quarter. He started doing better, but now he's "reverting" back to being bad.

Lately he keeps telling other kids to shut up. Keep in mind, to second graders the word shut up is the equivalent of the F-bomb.

I've tried various ways to get him to stop, but nothing seemed to be reaching him.

So today, we had a one on one conference and I mentioned that Jesus would never use a word like "shut up" and it makes Him sad for children to use it and be mean to each other. I said Christians are supposed to love and a word like shut up is mean and not about love at all.

That was the FIRST time I actually seemed to get through to him. He started crying a little, whereas he usually just sits there blankly when I lecture him.

Answer 1

i'd just consider whether the parents might be the ones he learned "shut up" from, and how confusing it would be for your teacher to tell you that your parents are displeasing God.

i'm sure you meant well and it was certainly prudent to do it in a 1-on-1 conference, but don't do it again.

Answer 2

LOL at "to second graders the word shut up is the equivalent of the F-bomb." I never thought of it that way.

His parents (probably)wouldn't be offended but the other kids who heard you say that might go home and say something to their parents and THEY might get mad.  

But I think you did a good job, though you might have to explain yourself to some ticked off parent

Answer 3

are you in a public school? You're walking a really fine line.... I would speak with his parents to see how they feel about it, since you are talking to him one-on-one, it's up to them, but if you do it in front of the other kids, their parents could really throw a fit over it.

Answer 4

If you are a teacher in a private Christian school, then I don't see the big deal. But, if you teach in a public school, then you're SO wrong for going there with a student.

Openly religious or not, you had no place bringing his personal life (or yours) into your little one-on-one with him. I'm sure your intentions were good, but you were out of line. I am sure this wasn't a technique that you were taught when you were schooled, to handle situations with students, was it?

If you are bothered by it enough to question your (bad) decision, then you already know it was wrong of you to do. If my child's teacher had done this, they would have a bad day when I found out about it.

You're not a Sunday school teacher, so don't act like one.

Answer 5

I would, but only because the whole "WWJD" craze makes my navel pucker. Catch phrase religion just isn't my cup of tea.

Honestly, I don't think when speaking to a child whose parents are known to be religious this is much of an issue. On the other hand...better not to go there for your own sake.

Kind of a tough call, really. If you were to use that tactic on a Hindu child you would be in the wrong entirely but this one is a bit of a gray area.

Interesting question.

Answer 6

i wouldnt get upset since i use that at home also

Answer 7

i wouldnt be upset seeing how im a christian. but like in the rest of the replys:  if ur in a public school u cross that line and theres no way going back and whos to say if u say it to the wrong child, who goes tell his parents and those people  go to the school board.  i wouldve called the parents in for a conference using the name jesus or god in public schools seems to be wrong. whether or not we like it. u need think about what ur going to say and not just blurt it.

Answer 8

Whoo hoo hoo! If you were my kids teacher!  You would be in hot water!  In no situation in a school (that's not a christian academy) should you ever ever ever use your religion to scare a child into behaving! I can't believe you did that!  You should be Ashamed!  You made him cry!  You should have a conference with his parents before you go and make him afraid of your Mr. Jesus!  How dare you!  There was a sub in my son's class one time that when the kids didn't behave for her...and he was in 2nd grade then...she told them "If you don't behave then the devil will sneak up behind you and drag you into h**l"!  This is just as bad!  She was fired and will never sub again!  You should be reprimanded for doing this!  This is mental abuse!  I am appalled!

Add: Sambeats...I am not a christian..but I really think your answer is great.

Answer 9

Well if the child and his/her family are Christian, then I dont see a problem with it. It shouldn't be said in front of the other children though.

Answer 10

I can understand the reasoning, and I can even understand your motivation for approaching the child in this way. HOWEVER, that being said, and being a very religiously minded person~this is one particular can of worms you'll wish never got opened. In disciplining this way, you opened yourself and your school up for a law suit of epic proportions. your heart was in the right place, your intention was pure. Yes, it worked. But *you* may not work, ever again. I don't  think there IS a right answer. It's not so much WHAT you said, or HOW you said it, or even THAT you said it. It's that there are so many people who are just WAITING to jump on something like this. It's sad that while you did it with the best of intentions, you will most likely be belittled and reprimanded, and possibly be placed on probation ( if not terminated)  through your employer. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 11

You'd be fired if you did that in our public schools.  As a parent (who is Christian and goes to church) I'd be very very upset if you said that to my child.  I'd insist on a meeting with the principal and I'd let other parents know what you're up to.  I'm sure your intentions were good, but you can't go around telling kids that they've disappointed Jesus...it's not right.

Answer 12

Yes, as a Christian I would be concerned because what if you were Muslim and you had said Allah?  I'd have had your job by day's end.

As a teacher, you have no right to be giving spiritual counsel in a public school.  I'm sorry, that is true.  What if the kid was Jewish.

If you want to witness, you need to take the pay cut and teach in a religious school.

If you want to remain in public, you can pray for him, you can display Christian values to him, but you cannot go around throwing Jesus at people.

And in second grade, shut up is not = to the F bomb.  I would be upset as a Christian if you told my child he was making Christ sad.  I'd be upset if you were his Sunday School Teacher and said that...that is a little heavy for a child.  I have said to MY child in MY non-public home, "Jesus doesn't like us to behave that way, He likes us to use nice words."

I'm a social worker and I see so many clients who would have better lives if they lived as Christ wanted them to, and I pray that someday they will, and I try to conduct myself as a Christian....but I don't preach to them about Jesus as it is not appropriate. You were not appropriate with that child.

You will get conservatives to support you and say what you did was fine, but you know it wasn't or you wouldn't be asking.

You better hope you keep your job!

Answer 13

i personally would be just because there would be a seperation, talk to the parents say that he has been having problems and ask if they would mind you saying things like that, if they do and they report you, you could get fired, so i wouldnt mention that you have in the past

Answer 14

I would talk with the parents---maybe he needs a little WWJD bracelet to help him remember.

I think your approach was good----and accurate. After all, someone who preached love, tolerance and kindess would be opposed to "shut up."

How is he "openly religious"? That might help folks answering a bit...people from some Christian denominations might react differently to this coming from a teacher.

Answer 15

If you teach in a Christian school, that's one thing.

If not, you could be putting yourself in a vulnerable position for parents who do not want religion in the schoolroom

Answer 16

No b/c I would hope I had raised my child to think that way anyway and if they needed a reminder I would expect any adult around to remind them. Good for you for actually finding something that may work and using it. Teachers get so little support and are expected to work miracles.

Answer 17

As a non-Christian parent, I have to tell you that I would be very upset to find out that a child in my child's class was told that.

I have to say that if I were Christian, it would also bother me.  I don't want anyone giving my child religious lectures  unless I have hired him to do so.

Sorry.  I know it worked, but really, it would bother me.

Answer 18

This is really unfair.

If you continue with this, this kid will end up HATING Christianity... and thats why a lot of people do... because they've been treated badly.

I think children should be able to make their own distinctions without the pressure of christianity... at least until they're older and able to make their own decisions.

The term "problem child" is horrible. I was considered a "problem child" all through my schooling... thats why i dropped out.

Punish him without the guilt that he's "making god sad" Poor little guy. I bet you, when he grows up... he'll remember this. And he'll be scarred from it.

I found it interesting that you said god only gets sad when children are mean to eachother? Does this mean as adults you can be mean?

Your a perfect example.

Answer 19

I would of been glad to have that teacher for my child.

Answer 20

Wow -- this is a tough question.  I don't think I would be upset, mainly because you weren't pushing religion on him, you were trying to get him to connect to something that he could really relate to.  Regardless of your religion, Jesus is a figure in history, and mentioning his name is not the same as saying that you "must accept Jesus Christ as your savior".  We can  mention Allah without making people think they have to convert to Islam...However, I'm not sure that most parents will agree with me.

Perhaps, in the future, you might ask him, "Who is the greatest leader in the world?  Who really cared about mankind and tried their best to help everyone?"  Then when he answers, use that person's name to get your point across.  You'll be using a someone that he already believes in and you won't appear to be pushing your beliefs on him.

Also, the fact that you know he's religious anyway means that you used something you knew about him to relate to him in a way that was truly meaningful to him.  If there were an openly Muslin child in the class, and you said "Would would Allah have done?". it wouldn't be like you were trying to convert him.  You were just relating to him.

You did make a breakthrough with him, and that's wonderful.  You might want to consider having a chat with his parents just so they hear the story from you first.  I'm sure they have a hard time dealing with him and will relate to your difficulties.  It they hear from you first, they will not jump to conclusions and get all bent out of shape.

It was a brave move to you to do this.  Good for you!

Edit: The more I read your question, the more I know you were not "pushing" religion on him.  All religions tell their followers that they should love and respect others.  I have to believe that even atheists think that this is a good thing to do too.  What religion would teach that "shut up" wasn't mean?  You were only taking a very common thought and making it a little more personal so that he could relate.

Answer 21

Is this a public school or a private school.  Private do whatever you want.  Public, not so much, you crossed the line and think you know it.

Answer 22

I am a Christian parent and it would depend.

If it is a church school then you could get away with it, but see my further comments.

If it is not a church school I would not expect this behaviour to control the child because it sounds like lesson in religious teaching in order to control the child very simply.

In fact it is using guilt on the child in order to control them and I decide I think it might have been effective but for what reasons? Did you damage the child's feelings of worth and esteem? Or did Christ show his infinite mercy by the power of his name and symbol. I would say that the core of the child could have been hurt by such a remark. He needs to feel feelings of personal power without being abusive to others, not made to feel guilty because it makes Jesus sad. I think you were wrong.

It depends on whether you see Jesus as a good role model for your child or not rather than accepting Jesus as your personal Savior.

But I find a lot of Christian and non-Christian's very closed minded when it comes to Jesus. If you really knew who Jesus Christ was, why did you use His name and person as a way to make the child feel awful? I cannot understand why you experimented with the concept of Jesus in this way.