Christians: Are you uncomfortable discussing your beliefs in the presence of atheist friends?

Question

I have a few girl friends that I hang out with on a regular basis who are all Christian and I am an atheist. If at any time they begin discussing their beliefs, they stop and say "I know you don't believe in this but..." as if they require some sort of disclaimer.

I have never been anything but respectful of their beliefs, and I never jump in or mock them when they discuss their beliefs. I have never tried to convince them that they are wrong, or given them any reason to feel uncomfortable discussing their beliefs around me.

So why is it that they seem so uncomfortable discussing their beliefs around me? Many of them have never been friends with a nonbeliever, so I thought it may be because they don't know how to act around someone with different beliefs than them. I am sincerely baffled.

Answer 1

When that happens you should punch them in the face.

Answer 2

There not uncomfortable or at least I don't think so there, there just trying not to offend you. Like if you were talking about them to something you say I know you believe in god but... So its not uncommon your just not trying to offend there beliefs.

Answer 3

No I don't feel uncomfortable about it.

I would imagine that your friends do that because they don't want you to feel like they are preaching to you when the conversation happens to come round to Christianity.

Answer 4

If knowledgeable people were uncomfortable discussing what they know in the presence of those who are less knowledgeable, how would any teaching ever occur?

Answer 5

I am not uncomfortable at all discussing with my atheist friends. You should sit them down when these conversations start and simply assure them that you are interested in their beliefs even though you hold your own and even though their beliefs might differ you feel that they are not pressuring you in any manner!  

Answer 6

I would think more that they don't wish to make you feel like they are forcing their view upon you as they know what you believe already.

Answer 7

It can be hard to be totally frank about your beliefs when you know you're talking to someone who thinks that your most deeply held beliefs are a fairy tale. Even if they're kind about it, it's still in your mind.

But myself, I try to converse with all people the same way, and if my faith is going to come up naturally in what I say, I don't censor myself.

Answer 8

I generally do not cast pearls before swine.

Answer 9

I have many friends of all faiths, and even some that are atheists.  I have never been uncomfortable discussing religion with most of these, unless one of them tries to start a debate, which I don't really like to do.  Since you have shown nothing but respect, there is no reason for them to feel uncomfortable in discussing it, unless it's to embarrass you for your belief (or lack thereof).

Answer 10

Uncomfortable?  No.  But on the other hand, I don't want my friends thinking I'm trying to shove my beliefs down their throat.

For example, a friend of mine and his wife are in the middle of a particularly nasty divorce.  He wants to work things out, but she says it's too late.  Anyway, when he broke the news to me, I told him that even though I know he doesn't believe in God or anything like that, did he consider going to a clergyman for counseling?  I said that many of them provide marital counseling for free, or at least cheap.  I also told him that even though he doesn't believe in prayer, would it be okay for me to pray for him and his wife, and their two boys?  (He said it wouldn't hurt.)

Anyway, usually before I bring up anything to do with my religion (the Bible, prayer, doctrine, church, et cetera), I let my friends know that I'm aware of their beliefs, and I respect them.  

I'm a new Christian (less than two years), so I don't want my friends thinking I've totally gone off the deep end, though I'm sure a few of them wonder.

Answer 11

I'm a former Christian, but I think Christians are aware that some non-Christians have a closed minded bias view of Christianity as being a "pushy" religion who would tell Christians to "shut up" in a second for what they believe is "forcing their beliefs on others".  It's good that you have an open mind about it.  But Christians never know who they are preaching to, so it helps to be careful and mindful.

Answer 12

I'm not uncomfortable. I don't think your friends are stating a disclaimer, they are more likely stating the knowledge that you are most likely not interested in the conversation. Join in with them, state your views.

I have found that most people shy away from religious and political discussions. I guess because many tend to get bent out of shape when someone disagrees.  

Answer 13

I am not uncomfortable but I think the disclaimer wasn't out of fear but out of respect and recognition of your beliefs.  

Answer 14

Not at all.  Jesus comes with me into all friendships and relationships I have, and if the friend or relative can't handle that, then they don't have to be around me.

Jesus is my Friend  :)

Answer 15

First of all, I would question where or not you are really and athiest.  What true athiest would not take the opportunity to mock God and His word and the people that believe in Him.  It sounds as if you believe you just need some more conviencing and your friends don't seem to sure of what they believe.  If they know God's word and truly believed it, they would not make excuses or apologize to a non believer about the truth.  The truth is that God loved you enough to allow His son Jesus to die for your sins to save you from the wrath that He will pour out on those that reject Him and that continue to live in sin.  That is typically why people reject God because, they do not want to be saved from sin.  Sin is pleasurable and to give that up seems to be so unfair.  According to the bible (the living manual for all of God's creation) you will find answers in the following scriptures that you will one day be accountable for rejecting Romans 10:10; Romans 13:11,12;  Philippians2:10.

Answer 16

I'm an atheist, and my entire family are strong Christians. My Mother is an Anglican Minister, both my parents were strongly involved in church when they were younger. My Grandmother is a Sunday School teacher of 40 years. Every family event and gathering we have ALWAYS leads into a church discussion. I sit there quietly and let them talk about whatever they like.

The problem I have is they want nothing to do with me because I don't believe in anything they believe in. In their eyes, it's a sin not to believe in anything. I can completely understand why they would get mad if I tried to convince them they are wrong, but I say nothing.

I'm assuming your friends feel uncomfortable because they want to get their beliefs across without offending you and without offending themselves. They might think that your not clear on what they believe your belief system is. My suggestion is to let them know that it's alright not to say "I know you don't believe this but".

I hope everything works out.  

Answer 17

Christy,

KL and I hold very similar feeling on this matter and I will not answer as a result of hers.  I believe that she hit the nail on the head for me.  Have a great weekend.

Thanks,

Eds

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Thanks KL,

YOU are so beautiful, to me...

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Answer 18

They probably just realize how ridiculous their beliefs sound to someone who thinks critically, and doesn't just automatically accept superstitious nonsense as fact.

Chances are, they probably don't really believe in most of it themselves, and require constant reinforcement by other 'christians' in order to continue deluding themselves.

Answer 19

No.  I enjoy discussing it with friends that don't believe.  We have intelligent debates about it and we both respect each others' beliefs.

If he would start bashing my beliefs, he would get it right back.

Answer 20

They should feel embarrassed to discuss something so un-natural as fact.  Their very nature is true ultimately, and is just!  

Plus they are placing themselves above you intellectually, which contradicts everything a self sacrificing Christian should do.