Christmas vs Birthdays?

Question

I just realized that i left out the opportunity for bio parents to answer the question " Is Christmas as difficult emotionally as birthdays? My appologies, I would like to have your input as well. I am not referring to gifts as much as I am the strain on the heart strings.

Answer 1

For our b-mom both is very hard, our son was born right before christmas, so we try to do everything we can to spend those times with her, if she wants to.....not always sometimes she prefers to spend time with her family (her parents).  But yes neither is better than the other, but on a lighter note, we spend a lot of time together and our visits are great, we are one big family.

Answer 2

As an adoptee, it yanks on my heart strings big time.  In fact, I no longer celebrate my birthday since I no longer believe that it is an accurate date.  Indiana is well known for changing birthdates and incest.  So that question also looms over me as well.

Answer 3

birthdays, because its the day a woman brought you into this world. and you were giving life. and the two humans who made you, are no longer here. my parents passed away, but some adopted children were not wanted from there parents. imagen the woman who brought you too this world not want you. the day she looked at you and changed her mind on children.

but i take hope, she birthed you, but God gave us life, and hes the one who wants us. he didnt change his mind.

Answer 4

Christmas sucks too. His birthday is far worse though.

Christmas is about family and mine is missing a person. Seeing my girls Christmas morning as they open presents and scurry around trying to play with everything at once makes my eyes a bit misty, wondering what he is doing and who he is sharing the holiday with.  

His birthday is all about us. Him entering the world and me bringing him into it. Every year at 9:20 am I am acutely aware of the date and the time. I can barely function on his birthday and even the smallest thing brings me to tears. I want to hold ALL of my children close and make everything wrong in their worlds right. But I can't, one of them is not here. How can I mend his heart without being able to hold him?

Yeah, birthdays are much harder for me.

Answer 5

As an adoptee and meeting my birthmom after 13 years of her NOT writing. I was adopted through the ministry of children and family services so my mom has to write through the exchange (snailmail) birthdays are hard, so's christmas but vacations are even harder because i want to write and tell her and my sisters everything I did but I can't because she hasn't written still.

Out of birthdays and christmas it's gotta be christmas

Answer 6

Not for me. Birthdays were the hardest.

Answer 7

Well, my bdaughter was born in early Jan and she was supposed to be a Christmas baby. But, still her birthday was the hardest. I used to have to take off work on her bday because it was so difficult for me. But I found her in 2001 and now I have made fond memories of her last few birthdays. She will be 36 in jan. Life is pretty good now.

Answer 8

Christmas is hard because as Andraya said, it's about family and all of the emphasis is on the "home for the holidays" and warm fuzzy family gatherings stuff, but that's not the way it is for me. It makes me miss him a lot, and the season just seems to go on and on and on.

His birthday is harder though. That's the day we were parted, and of course I relive it and wish I could change it and I know I can't.

Answer 9

i gave my son up for adoption when i was 14, to my oldest sister and her husband.  she has raised him as her own.  he does know about me.  but looks at me as a aunt not a mom.  For me i think they are both equally painful.  Now i am 28 and have a family of my own and its sad that he is not here sharing our joy and happiness with us.

Answer 10

Christmas is always hard for me because I'm sick every Christmas! I've never been excited for Christmas cause of being sick. This year I was even sick for Christmas. Then while I was opening my gifts...I couldn't breath...I thout I wus guna pass out! Poor me I knw.