Clingy co-worker (what should I do)?

Question

There's this guy that I work with. He asked me out a few weeks ago, and I politely rejected him since we hardly know each other and he's not really my type (he's very stiff, not at all personable, and he doesn't have a sense of humor about anything). Plus, there's this other guy that I like at the moment, and things seem to be going very well.

Anyway, just to be nice, I told this guy that we can be friends. But now, I regret having told him that because he's acting clingy and obnoxious. Whenever I'm having an important conversation with a co-worker/friend, he rudely interrupts. The minute I step into my work building, he pops out from some random corner to badger me about whether my friends and I are hanging out after work. I've been extremely busy this week (I have two other jobs), and the day before yesterday, I told him that for the 7th time in a row. He got pissed off and accused me of avoiding him.

I realize that I told him we could be friends, but I didn't mean that he should tag along every single time I'm hanging out with people or that I'm free every day after work. Sometimes I just want to hang out with a friend one-on-one to talk about personal things or I want space to be by myself. I used to like going to work, but now that he hounds me every day, I get so stressed out every time I drive there. What should I do about him?

Answer 1

Boundaries.

Take the time to sit him down, and explain life.

Friends respect each other, he has not been respectful of you.

Friends listen.......he hasn't

Friends put the need of others over their own, he's tried everything he can to force his agenda on you.

So, it's not that you don't want to be friends, it's that HE doesn't want to, so, until he understands boundaries, (what is and is not polite and proper), you, (sadly), can have no more contact with him.

THIS IS HIS FAULT, make sure he knows it.

Take the blame for offering to be friends, tell him you had no idea that he was totally incapable.

The plan isn't to hurt his feelings, it's to get him to see he has no respect for others, (not just you, ANYONE!)

As far as the workplace goes, he can easily lose his job, (sexual harassment is illegal), your private life is.......private.

He need to understand that he doesn't have a shot with you, and will never have a shot with anyone, until he get a clue.

Sorry

Luck

Answer 2

tell him you have aids

Answer 3

.... ignore him totally and keep yourself aloof from him.

Answer 4

Tell him that if he does not stop harassing you that you will make a formal complaint against him to Human Resources.  If he keeps harassing you, then go to Human Resources.  If Human Resources does not do anything, call this federal Agency:  EEOC 1-800-669-4000.

The Employer is responsible for keeping a workplace environment free from harassment, but you have to make them aware of it if this man keeps harassing you.  Best Wishes.