Co-sleeping Question?

Question

At what age is it detrimental to sleep with your baby?

I was always one of those people who said that when I had a baby I would keep his sleep routine consistent - always put to sleep drowsy and in his own crib. YEAH RIGHT! My son is 8 months and our routine is putting him down just before 10pm and he is awake between 1:30-2:3-am and I am so exhausted that I just bring him to bed and put him in the middle of my husband and I to nurse and we both fall asleep. He then wakes up about 3 more times to find the boob and drifts off until around 7.

Is this routine making him wake more? He absolutely refuses a bottle so that is not an option, nor is a soother. Is this routine the reason he demands the boob before every nap during the day? I work at a daycare (with my boy) and the toddlers go right to sleep after putting them in their playpens ... awake!! Will my son ever be like that if we keep this up? I want to teach him good sleep habits so he will be more comfortable ..

Answer 1

well your son is only 8 months old,,and even though those other babies are  going right to sleep like "normal" there realy isnt a normal for children. No two are alike and they all act differently..

I have 7 children - my youngest is 11 months

they all slept in bed with me because I breast fed too ...

this in no way interrupted there schedule

Is he a fussy baby ? does he suffer from gas or colic?

It might be as simple as once he gets full, if he isnt burping,its sitting in his tummy and making him uncomfortable.

I know its hard to arouse yourself in the middle of the night,but try your best to sit up with him and make sure he is burping and see if that helps.

ALso check with the doctor and ask about colic or even reflux

my daughter has been very fussy since birth - although she pretty much sleeps through the night - she has reflux which causes her to be quite cranky

He will get over the frequent wakes in time - also keep in mind that babies have growing spirts at different stages and when they are going through these stages - they eat more frequently,and/or sleep more frequently

Your bedime routine is not the reason he demands it before every nap - infact I think that is quite normal - its soothing to him

Answer 2

If I were you I would start putting him in his room and just let him deal with it, he will get used to it eventually. My aunt dawn has a 4 year old named Noah and he is a horribly behaved child and has been since only 2 months old (im not kidding). his parents would NEVER allow him to cry, even at the slightest whimper they would pick him up and they never let him sleep in his crib that they had and he slept in the bed with them. and now he is 4 years old, doesn't go to bed till midnight, runs his mother ragged (shes preg with #2) and the dad doesn't do a thing with him. And now at 4, she is sleeping with her son while her husband sleeps in their room, so they don't even sleep together anymore because of their son, and he refuses to stay in his bedroom because they never disciplined him early on. so if you don't stop this NOW your baby is going to run you ragged and probably develop[ behavioral problems. and plus its not physically healthy (baby can get sick) if he sleeps wi9th you two and its also not healthy to your relationship with your husband, and its emotionally bad for the child because he is not co-Dependant on you and wont learn discipline that well or wont take to it well once you do start. its okay though,  a lot of moms do this because they are so tired, but its not to late to start ,making him sleep in his own crib in his own room. sure he will cry like crazy and it will take a while for him to adjust, but he will be okay. good luck hun!!!

Answer 3

He's still just a baby and they are all different. When I co-slept with my son he woke more often during the night to nurse because I was right there. On nights I stayed in his room, nursed him and put him back in the crib he woke up less often. I'm finding the same is true with my daughter. My daughter is five months old and if I put her back in the crib after I feed her she only wakes once during the night if at all. When she's in bed with me she wakes to nurse every few hours. I do put her in the crib awake and she falls asleep easily on her own. She's a dream baby in the sleep department and I know I'm totally spoiled. My son was just as easy.

I still nurse my daughter to sleep before naps and at bedtime. She hasn't had a bottle and also refuses a pacifier. I don't think it's a problem at all and I know that she'll eventually grow out of it but am in no hurry to change her sleep routine because it's working like a charm. If your son was on a bottle he would demand it before naps and bedtime so if it's not one it's the other. This is the case for most babies until sometime between their first and second birthday's so for an 8 month old I'd say you're doing just fine.

Toddlers are totally different and by the time your son is 2 or 3 years old he'll have a completely different sleep pattern. Around his first birthday you will probably be weaning him and transitioning to a cup. Soon after that you'll slowly eliminate feedings during the night and eventually be putting him down awake at nap and bedtime without a bottle or sippy cup. He's right on track for his age and his sleep habits are totally healthy.

Answer 4

It's a hard one. We all think that we want routines but our little ones have a totally different idea. Books can be useful but the person who has written it isn't in your home with a screaming child and a very tired husband. Wow your son sounds like a carbon copy of our son! But when he woke around 2am, I went to the lounge and fed him, then popped him in bed with us. and he normally didn't wake until 7am. That way we all got some sleep. He just didn't need a lot of sleep - slept once a day 20mins in my arms. Didn't start sleeping through the night until 7 years old and at school full time. My daughter 2 years younger was totally different, she basically sleep straight away. So I had a baby that slept and a toddler that didn't. We couldn't do control crying...it was absolutely awful. We just put up with it! And had lots of cuddles from him. Please remember that he won't be there when he's a teenager. Enjoy him now and try not to compare what everyone else is doing! Do what ever seems the best for you.

Answer 5

I found that when I slept with my daughter she slept for longer periods of time. She was sleeping through the night at two months and she patterned her eating around that so even after she didnt sleep with me any more she slept through the night and still does. She wasn't breastfed though, I fed her expressed breast milk.  

Answer 6

You should read this book:

http://www.babywhisperer.com/babywhisper...

Sounds to me like you're reinforcing this routine, who wouldn't want to sleep in a cozy big bed with mommy and daddy over a crib all alone?  Babies are a lot smarter than we give them credit for...

Good luck! =)

Answer 7

I realize that right now it seems as though your son will never sleep on his own.  But he will.  Just as all people are different, so are all babies.  My daughter was incredibly independent, and had no troubles at all transitioning from family bed to her own bed, she was three years old.  My son was so much like you describe your son.  He was still frequently nursing at night until he weaned (three years old)  When he weaned, we started to transition him to his own sleeping space.  He was welcome to come snuggle in with Sissy or Mommy and Daddy if he woke in the middle of the night, but he had to start out in his own bed.  It took several weeks of building a routine before he'd go to bed without me laying down with him, but it finally happened.

My daughter is now 16  and my son now 11, and they both sleep fine, no issues.  They are both also very well adjusted and independent.