Coincidence or wishful thinking?

Question

Although I'm married, I've been in a platonic relationship that has the potential of moving forward. (My husband and I are just about to call it quits... We hardly communicate, is never home, and doesn't even to call to say hello to his daughters.)

This person has children as well and we're in a class situation where he and I, and his children and my children interact on an almost daily basis. (There are other people in these classes and they have no idea that we're attracted to each other.)

The point? Lots of strange coincidences?

*Although we have very different schedules outside of this class, we run into each other in public AT LEAST once a week. Both of us with our children in tow.

*Soon after getting to know each other a little better, I found out that he lives less than a block away from me.

*His house is the exact model as mine but mirror image. (There are very few 2-story houses in our community. I feel lucky!)

*My husband is "absent", his wife is "absent".

*He is a perfect example of "Mr. Mom" and I've lived as a "single mom" for years now. (My husband works graveyards.)

*He does not go by his given name... but, well into our friendship, I found out his given name is almost exactly the same as my high school sweetheart's name... Just to be careful, I can't tell you what it is but it is NOT a common name.

* I found out that his birthday is the same day as my high school sweetheart... I nearly fainted with that one.

*Out of the blue, his daughter and my daughters began calling each other "sister".

Just to clarify, we don't see each other on the side and are rarely in a situation that we are not in class. My best friend has observed our interactions and is convinced that we are a "Brady Bunch waiting to happen".

Any ideas?

Answer 1

I think that first you should figure out were is your marriage is heading before you start to think about another relationship. You should clarify with your husband the situation. I mean how much longer can you live like this. Once that is clear and if he is available then you can figure things out. Just because you get out of one situation doesn't mean that you have to jump into another relationship.

Answer 2

Well, its looks like fate brought both of u together. Maybe u can try to give yourself a chance to try the relationship out.

Answer 3

i think youre seeing things that you're trying to make things of.

my idea is TO GET DIVORCED FIRST!!!

..if the guy is still around, then fine, but get divovced, before you start planning your "fairy tale " future.

Your married and thats the bottom line.

Answer 4

sounds awesome, other than the already married part

Answer 5

I suggest you both try to work on your marriages and then if things don't work out on both ends and you do divorce then you can think about getting together, but not until you have given your marriages a fair chance- marriage counseling and beat that horse until it is dead and then you can get a new one.  

Answer 6

Tejana it seems that you are badly in need of a companion thats for sure.

Now you have to settle your marriage problem first before you can be involve with a new relationship. You are adding and multiplying your problems now if you move forward with you neighbour fling as I see it.

Stand up on  your problems and resolve it once and for , once you have done that there is no one that can stop you from seeing the guy that you have a crush on ,, just my two cents.  

Answer 7

if you want to move forward then you need to end what you have first.

Coincidence isnt love.

The grass isnt allways greener on the other side.

Answer 8

What you are creating is a scenario that you want, since your husband seems absent to you. You have developed this fantasy and if you look carefully at what you are saying and stop and think a second or two. You will see that what you are seen is a perfect situation for you to live out your once faded fantasy of been with your high school sweet heart.  Remember that life is never what it seems just look at yours, your husband has to work so he can support you and his daughters. Mr mom you describe probably has an easier job than his wife and can take the luxury to do all the things you describe. So if you do end up together who is going to work to support all the kids ( I guess your husband and his wife wile you too have a short lived fantasy life that will end up back where you are) You might have a fantasy but you do have kids that you have to make sure are raised by both you and their father. I am not in place to tell you what is moraly wrong but you did make a decision to have kids with someone and they are the ones you have to please not your self you should of taken a hard look at what you where getting into before you decided to have your children. Children are precious and are who will determine what our future will be morally and is your job to make sure that they do by having them grow up with mom and dad.  SO wake UP and stop Fantasacing about SOMETHING THAT SEEMS RIGHT but in reality if you stop and think long term will be no better than where you are now. IS not easy NOW days believe me, always working very little time to take care of children, heck baby sitters know my children better than I do. But is the way it is we need to survive so we need to work, and you know what is the most satisfying part of it, when I see my kids have their soccer, dance, swimming, and their toys. I might not sleep much since i have shift work but i am dam if my kids don't have what they need.SO THINK AND MAYBE UNDERSTAND YOUR HUSBAND A LITTLE BIT MORE YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE in the same situation believe me.