Colleague asks me for lunch...but he is married...is it ok to be friends?

Question

One of my colleagues (not someone I direvtly work with- instead someone in a different dept) regularly asks me for lunch from time to time and he is married. I am in a relationship also, but just wondering is it appropriate to have lunch with a male colleague? At this stage I am taking it as he just wants to make more friends, but is there anything I should be aware of?

Answer 1

that's fine. i have tonnes of male friends whom i hang out with one on one, although i am married. i am just looking for friends, and the guys i hang with are too. it's only a problem if you make it a problem really.

Answer 2

Red flag!  Just the fact you are here asking, shows you are uncomfortable.  I don't buy the "We're just friends." line.  Let this guy know you have no interest in "having lunch". Good luck.

Answer 3

theres nothing wrong with it..but at this stage YOU are taking it he just wants to friends...are you 110% sure hes NOT interested in you in other ways? if he is, your playing with danger. If hes not..enjoy your innocent lunches :)

If you are sure hes only interested in lunch dates, and not bumping uglies..why did you post this question? Is there something you maybe feel a tad guilty about? or do you maybe wonder if your looking at it too innocently? Im just curious :)

Answer 4

Well, he might want to be "friends", but if any sort of attraction starts between the two of you, we all know where that leads. I'd politely decline unless it's for professional purposes...you don't want to be caught in any home-wrecking trouble. And I can't imagine that your significant other would like the two of you going out on regular lunch dates. Also, you don't want the office gossiping about anything, even if it's untrue.

Answer 5

LMFAO!  No its not all right.  He isn't interested in making more friends.  What can you offer as a friend?  Thats right, nothing but the poon.  You can't seriously be that stupid.  Tell the guy to take a hike.

Answer 6

yes, it is. friendship will never amount to what you and your partner have. if anything inappropriate happens, say to him how you feel and let it be that, don't go to lunch with him again. perhaps have a dinner or lunch with both you, him and your partners.

Answer 7

Birds of a feather stick together. Well, that's what my mother use to tell me. It's easier to bond with your own s*x(in friendship) as you have so much more in common.(With exceptions of course, like business)  But when you cross the line and approach the other s*x there's a god-given sexual component added. Say what you will but when you see a man associate with another man you normally get a different impression than when you see a woman and a man together. At 64 I still can't help but think of all women, at least in part, in a sexual manner even if I would NEVER follow through on my feelings. By asking your question I think you already know where it might lead. Be careful if you're in a meaningful relationship.

Answer 8

Not really, but if he asks you out to dinner with him tell him you cant you are spending time with your partner.