College choosing dilemma..how should I deal with my parents? ?

Question

I have a little dilemma. I got accepted to two very good schools, the University of Minnesota, and the University of St. Thomas, a private school in Minnesota.

They're both my two top schools, and I love them both. I could not go wrong with either decision.

However, my parents insist on not letting me choose one. They like to be very involved in the decision making process, and they are paying for almost all of it. If I went to the U of M, they would pay for all of it.

(I am enrolled at both, and registered for classes at both, and have roommates and a room at both)

When I tried to pick one, at first I thought, the U of M, that'll be good. They didn't like that. They said St. Thomas was a great school, and made me look at it again, and convinced me that it was the right choice. So finally, I decided that school was better for me, and it was where I wanted to go.

Now though, they are saying they think it's really expensive and dont know if I should go there because I'll owe money coming out of there, whereas at the U I would not. So now I can't pick that one either.

Its like i cant pick one or the other!! I'm so frustrated..I talked to the roommate at st thomas (i love her by the way..she seems so much fun. the U roommate doesnt have a facebook or anything), and keep telling her I'm going there, and now i'm not, and now i am..... its kind of embarrassing, and frustrating, and annoying all at the same time.

My school(s) start in like 2 weeks. I dont know what to do!! People ask where I'm going, and I still say I dont know. My parents go back and forth and just irritate me and wont decide no matter how many times I stress it needs to be decided. NOW.

It should be my decision, it's my future, my life. But they're paying so they insist it is as much their decision as it is mine.

I am just at a loss at this point. Its suffocating, and I just dont know what to do anymore.

Answer 1

This is just my opinion as the parent of a high school aged young woman...

Part of growing up to be a responsible, intelligent adult is decision-making. It is my belief that you are at the stage of life where your decisions should be yours, not your parents. Based on what you have stated, both schools would be a good educational choice and both are within the same state. I think it is time you stand up for you and make this important and life-changing decision for yourself based upon your own feelings and information. Your parents need to allow you to be an adult at some point, there is no better time than now.

Good luck and follow your dreams and ambitions! :)

Answer 2

How frustrating for you. Your parents are behaving like kids, they need to make a decision and make it now. It is not right to keep you hanging on like this, school starts in 2 weeks, how on earth do they expect you to get prepared if you don't even know which one you will attend. I am probably older than your parents and I am shocked at their behaviour. Still, unless you want to graduate with the burden of a student loan to repay you're just going to have to go along with them. Perhaps if you try a rational approach, tell them there are certain items you will need to buy that are specific to each Uni and that you really need them to make a decision so you can prepare all the practical stuff you'll need and get to know the room mate. WHat ever you do don't get angry, it's thier money after all, but try to rationally explain your frustrations. The very best of luck

Answer 3

well i think I would say to go with their choice for this one year, unless you have enough money to cover school with grants and all.  if you don't' mind loans and all, go with your school.  Work the system, let them pay for the school they like, but be on the hunt for scholarships the whole time you are there so that you can go to YOUR school.  unless you feel like taking on the financial responsibilities that may ensue from going to your first choice school, try theirs but be looking for other money so that you can transfer for the following year.

Answer 4

That's a really unfair situation, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Both are good schools and in the same state so your parents shouldn't be making it THEIR decision.

Anyway, which school do you really like better? Forget roommates, forget public v. private, forget location. As a school, where do you see yourself?

Owing school out of college isn't tragic if you had a great experience and a major that will land you a satisfying careeer. You should pick which school has more opportunities for you and just do it!

PS- doesn't U Minnesota have a bigger rep? I live in California and I know the school, but I've never heard of St. Thomas.