hey everyyone, so im a senior this year in hs. and im want to get into UT austin or A&M college station (in tx). and writing essays my weak spot. so im just wondering if yall would edit it? or give me some pointers?
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heres the topic:
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
and heres the essay:
Throughout my life, I have met hundreds of people. However, only a special few have had the ability to make an impact that lasts a lifetime. There are two women in particular who have influenced my life and helped make me what I am today. They were there to lend a hand when I needed it most.
The first woman to greatly affect my life is my grandmother. From my birth through age seven, she raised me like I was her own son. When she passed away in my seventh year, my mother stepped in to see me through the joys and sorrows that are a natural part of life.
I have nothing but respect and admiration for both of these wonderful women. They both taught me responsibility, honesty, and accountability in life. As I grow into adulthood, I hope to be a good role model for someone in the same way these two women have influenced me.
From my birth through the age of seven, my grandmother raised me as if I was her own son. She taught me all the essentials in life, essentials that most people agree should be taught at a young age. These basics include honesty and integrity which have been with me throughout my life so far, and will be with me in my future as well. Teaching honesty and integrity to a young child is not a walk in the park, the child most understand the difference between the truth and a lie. My grandmother did just that, because for the child to understand the teacher cannot be too harsh on the child. For example, as a child if I broke a vase in the house and I knew I would get in trouble I would most likely tell a lie to get out of it, but if I knew I would not get grounded for it I would tell the truth and say I broke the vase. This is the way to teach honesty and integrity to a child and my grandmother did just that, and I can never forget what she has done for me. This woman influenced my young life immensely and steered my life in the right direction. The seven years I was under the care of my grandmother were the finest years of my life.
Unfortunately, days after my seventh birthday, my grandmother passed away, and from that day on, my mother has stepped into my life and has had an even greater impact than my grandmother. She has made a vital change in my life by teaching me the values and ideals that hold special to us as human beings. She trained me to understand and create my own personal values, personal values which develop from situations and affairs in the outside world. Similar to teaching a child honesty and integrity, it is ever more difficult to make a teenager understand values and how to use them. For example, a normal teenager keeps an eye on their parent’s actions and statements, and from these actions the teenager is influenced greatly. In my early teenage years, my mother had to be extremely careful with all her actions to make sure that I would not be influenced by her actions. From the teachings of my mother’s principles I was able to construct my own individual values and gain the ability to know when to apply these values. For example, applying religious values in times of happiness and despair, and relating to cultural values in times of interacting with society and groups. Honesty, Integrity, and good values are everything a child would want, but to get it you need people who will influence your life forever. I had my grandmother from birth till age seven, then my mother. Both these women influenced my life immensely, and I hope you had someone like this too.
THANKS ALOTT .=]
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