Coming out advice...?

Question

ok - there's a bit of a long story behind this, so here we go...

i'm 17 in a few weeks, and go back to school next thurday,

relatively recently, i accepted that i was g*y, and so my first move was to tell my best mate.

Firstly, he is straight. unfortunately however, i neglected to tell him that i am madly in love with him, and want nothing more than to jump into his arms every time i see him.

my torture has been here worsened, as in the week before i told him i'm g*y, we spent a camping trip together, most of the time being spent lying in bed hugging eachother

(yeah, he is straight, hard as it is to believe)

now, due to unfortunately arranged holidays, we haven't spoken to eacother for two weeks - he gets back in a few days, and i have absolutely no idea what to do - all i want to do is hug him the minute i see him, but i know that will just give the wrong impression.

when i came out to him, he couldn't have taken it better - admittedly he was shocked, and claimed it was because, in his own words; i'm "g*y, not camp", so he had no idea.

we talked for hours, and he made me feel much better about the whole thing - (incededntly, this happened over the phone, not my first choice, but meh)

he then listed loads of friends who i should tell, and we said i'd wait for him to get back so he could help me tell them

we haven't spoken since then - and now my head is spinning

what do i do?

Answer 1

well theres nothing you can do give him one of those man hugs and then tell the other people

Answer 2

I'm suprized you didn't make a move on him while lying in bed hugging him while camping. If I were straight and my best mate lie in bed with me most of the time hugging, I'd wonder. Possibly he is bi/g*y and didn't say anything to you for fear of rejection, like you enough and hoping you'd not realize it or hoping if you were bi/g*y you'd make the first move.

You did tell him on the phone and had a long chat; he was understanding and supportive. Possibly if he is wondering about his own sexuality he just didn't want to blurt it out just in case he gave you the wrong impression in case he was wrong.

As far as telling a list of friends that you are g*y, I'd wait until I was sure how they'd handle it. Whatever your sexuality preference may be it is on a need to know basis, and who needs to know except the one you desire? If you tell a list of friends they may not be as understanding and supportive as your buddy.

Your pal may be mulling over what you've confided inhim and when he returns he may have made up his mind how to approach you. Wait until he comes home and have a private chat with him telling him that you don't want to lose him as your best friend or make him feel uncomfortable in any way; then confess that you have feelings for him as a bf, but if he doesn't have the same feelings that it would be hard to accept, but you will treasure his friendship if nothing else.

Answer 3

when he gets back hug him and tell him it's good to see him, I do that will all of my friends. Then come out to the friends as planed.

as for how you feel about him, tell him that you have a crush on him. I don't know him so I can't tell you how he would react if you said you were in love with him. so just tell him you have a crush on him.

Answer 4

I would have encouraged you to tell him 'in person', however, you already know that's what you 'should have' done...  Now that you've told him PART OF your confession...I would encourage you to take a deep breath...and tell him the rest of it.  That is if you DO WANT TO BE HONEST and forthright...and I actually think you do.  But, this time you need to see him in person...and, preferably, alone...  Make sure you tell him that there is 'the rest of the story' that needs to be told...and that the only reason you didn't say anything when you told him you are g*y...is that you were afraid he would 'reject you' and you would lose his friendship.  You need to let him know that his friendship is SO important to you that you just didn't want to take the chance of losing it...even if you DO love him.  Hopefully, he will understand and be okay with it.  Having had the time to think about what you've told him so far...he may even have 'stronger' feelings for you...but don't count on it.  Let him be the one who decides how and where this new revelation will take the two of you...  Let him know that no matter what his decision is that you will respect it as he has respected your 'situation'...  That should do it...