Coming out of the closet question?

Question

ok so,i had only came out to 2 of my friends,and one of them (A.)has a girlfriend and he`s like my best friend,so before i met her,he would tell her stuff abt me everyday,like his drawings are really good and he crys to alot of songs and stuff,so she asked him "is he g*y or something?"and he said "yes,he is".and he didn`t tell me that he told her untill i told him that i was thinking of coming out to her(she`s a really nice person),so i was like "oh..well it`s ok that u told her because i trust u".

and then i came out to a 3rd friend,and i was on the phone once with him and we were talking abt another friend who has "issues with himself"-i doubt it.so the first one says to me"oh,and by the way,i told him abt ur big secret because i felt that he should really know"so i was like"sure no prob,i trust u and ur judgements".but now i`m thinking,that same person said to me that A. shouldn`t have told his girlfriend without telling me,so WTF?!?

so in short,do u think i should trust my friends if they tell the people they trust?!?

Answer 1

friends will usually not be able to keep such a large secret. you have every reason to be angry for him spilling your business to everyone though.  

Answer 2

Yeah, I think you should still trust them. They are comfortable with it and still accept you, they just want to share things like that because thats what people do. I use to have a friend that would tell me all her other friends secrets even if I didn't really know them. But she always knew I was going to tell other people.  

Answer 3

A secret isn't a secret when more than one person knows.

First off, you're friends aren't responsible for telling their friends or your other friends about it. It's your option who and when you want to tell it to, not theirs.  

Answer 4

If you don't want to hide anymore, don't expect your friends to hide you either.  You are either out or in, you can't just peek your head out and then hide back in there.  Be proud of who you are.

Answer 5

Ok I did not even read your question I don't need to YOU  and only you know when and who to tell that's great that you came out I commend you  with all the peer pressure now days peer pressure was not as tough back in the 70s as it is now. so Just be yourself GL

Answer 6

I'm sure your friend had everyone's best interest at heart.  When I came out to my first friend, she told people not thinking that I knew them (too bad I did.)  She just needed to get it off of her chest and it helped.  

So, basically, my decision was to come out of the closet completely.  It didn't happen over night.  I told each of my close friends one on one, then my mother, then my father...After that, I felt so liberated!  

Just talk to the friend dude and think about coming out!  

Answer 7

Well it sounds like the cat's out of the hat now!

I wouldn't freak out... Maybe just sit down and explain that you're trying to take things a little more slowly and you'd appreciate if they let you address it at your own pace. If you trust them enough to come out to them first, I'm sure they'll understand and do the best they can to respect your wishes.