Comment my poem please?

Question

RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentemental,

To reach out for someone is to risk involvment,

To expose true feelings is to risk exposing your true self,

To love is to risk not being loved back,

To live is to risk dying,

To try is to risk failure,

To risk, is to be risky.

♥WWP

Answer 1

AHHHHMZING!!!! the first one doesnt make sense tho. yiou arent a fool for laughing. you are a fool for being foolish. maybe this will work.......

to laugh is to appear being unfocused/undirected

hope this is the best answer!!!!!!

Answer 2

i like it. very deep on the concept...but i am not too pleased about your ending. it...is just strange and a little blunt...and doesn't make sense. you style seems close to mine, and i can kinda see the passion attepting to emerge. you sound like you're trying too hard to make it sound/look 'cool' or 'mysterious'. but i like the concept.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

look at our similaties in styles! ^-^ i don't know how old you are, but i keep doing poetry...there wasn't anything that i found particularly bad....IT WAS AWESOME!!! ^-^