Comment my poems?

Question

I need some advice, comments, and critique on these poems... (They are alliterations)

Whitney wondered with worry why was she weakly whimpering and weeping when she was only wounded with the wonderful word love. Wiping her wet face with a wince, Whitney whispers what she writes; woe was she, wasting worthy time writing words in poem.

When my crazy, cursed and chaotic life is in chatastrophy, I can confront Cory complaining and crying and count on him to care for me couragously and confidently. Cory is calm, curious and concerned when I come to him in the middle of cruel calamity. Cory consists of a charming charisma making him capable of caressing and caring for my cloudy and confused heart. Cory helps me clearly consider my characteristics that count. I need to escape this concaving cage and climb out of this comical costume that covers my confusion. I have continuous complicating consequenses for my confessed crimes. I want to clarify that past my clenched fists that cowardly...

Answer 1

you use a lot od words that start with the same letter.. why is that??

its good

Answer 2

great!!!! boy is that a mouthful to say out loud!!lol

Answer 3

Alliteration isn't a style of poetry, it's just a poetic device that's supposed to be used in addition to others. This poem doesn't have anything else going for it...

I also see quite a few grammatical errors. Your lacking in the technical aspect, though your creativity has potential. I'm sure you'll work it out, best of luck.

Answer 4

Well, that isn't actually poetry. That's called prose.

Answer 5

Alliteration, like all rhetorical devices, can be overused.  This is not poetry but instead a profession of a lack of understanding of what you must accomplish as a poet.  Try reading "A Poet's Guide to Poetry" by Mary Kinzie and, yes, by all means, read the great poets.  You must serve an apprenticeship before you can work with precious metals... raise no hammer until the eye has been trained.  Poetry has an emotional aspect, and a linguistic element, and you must use both with restrained elegance.

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