Comment on my piece of writing please?

Question

Please comment and be brutally honest

Another cold night and I'm all alone again

Our situations not too bad if you think about it

But i guess you dont have the heart to

And theres nothing i can do and theres nothing i can say

to melt your heart and make you stay

but do it for our love and just hear me out

ive loved you now and forever

you made this world feel like a beautiful place

with your beautiful face

and yoour eyes

the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen

They'd get me lostand dazed inside a dream

They were bigger than the moon and they were brighter than the sun

Id stare for so long my eyes would water

and you had blanket soft skin

whiter and lighter than snow

ive kissed near every inch of you but its still not quite enough

we used to lay down together speaking hearts and minds

we'd forget our troubles and leave them all behind

we would make up lies to all our friends till we ran in to dead ends

we dreamt of moving away when we turned 18

but i had a special shiny ring, to show you this week

but now we've fallen apart with sad broken hearts

and dont you dare think im alright

baby i swear im not even close to fine

Answer 1

it's nice but i don't think it rhymes very much........

Answer 2

I LOVE IT. It's sad but happy in away (when you are in love that is the happyiness I'm talking about) I love it and i think you should keep it up! Good luck!!!!