Commentary and criticism on 2 poems?

Question

First Poem

When I look up into the night sky

I see the stars holding on to history

The bright specs are being tainted by

The black sap of nighttime obscurity

The night sky soaks the past with hope

Trying to reduce the pain and distress

It covers the memories lessening the mope

Only to create an even worse mess

The stars know not to ever forget

Yet to remember and value the past

For it is a dozen fish and life is a net

It will anchor us so we won’t go too fast

Second Poem

Hold me tight do not let go

It’s not my fault that I’m not right

Don’t leave me in the cold snow

I will sit in my mind frozen with fright

My memory is aching like a sore toe

I try to think and I try to fight

It’s not good when you are to go

I need your warmth and welcoming light

My memory is nothing now it won’t show

It is almost gone and almost out of sight

Sanity, please have mercy for all my woe

Answer 1

I don't know why I don't like: It covers the memories lessening the mope/

Only to create an even worse mess." It really doesn't explain how it makes a bigger mess. That one really doesn't seem to fit in the poem.

As for the second one, put a comma between "tight" and "do" because it is grammatically incorrect. The same between "mind" and "frozen." I'm not sure about the part about your memory because it fits oddly. It could probably use a comma before "now it won't show."