Comments on a poem, please?

Question

I wrote this one for a mother to put in her daughter's memory book to be read when she is older. Not being a mother myself, I need to know if it will work.

My Little girl

My little girl, you are my world,

The reason that I live.

The love I have for you, my dear,

Is all that I can give.

You are the apple of my eye,

My little pride and joy.

I'm glad that you're my little girl,

And not a tiny toy.

The love for you I have inside,

Will help me keep you well.

It comforts you when you get sick,

The times I cannot tell.

I'll teach things you need to know,

Like how to play with toys.

I'll teach you how to dress yourself,

And how to flirt with boys.

Although you are just two right now,

Someday you will be grown.

And have a little girl like you,

To call your very own.

I'll tell you that I love you true,

What more is there to say.

I'll be beside you throughout life,

To help you on your way.

Answer 1

This is a gorgeous poem for a little girl's memory book.  Thanks for sharing.

This IS a poem.

Answer 2

This poem is absolutely excellent and well thought. I bet the mother you wrote this poem for will thank you a lot. When the girl is able to read, she'll want to write something like that for someone else.

I truely enjoy the poem. Well done.

Answer 3

I think it will work splendidly!

You have a heart of gold, Dondi.

Answer 4

Dondi,

I cannot think what to add to all that has been said already. You have so many who reply to your gifted talents that I now place myself in your hands as a new student to be taught by a master teacher.

My respects to you

Robert

Answer 5

Loved it.

It flowed really nicely.

Answer 6

sure will be fine Dondi.

theres nothing better to know

when your mom or Granny loves you.

Answer 7

It's nice!

Answer 8

I'm not a Mom either, but I am a Dad and Grandfather.  That child will love it.

Answer 9

I'm a mother, I'm a grandmother and I would be thrilled with this.  My Emmy is 4 months old and waves her arms when she is read poetry or nursery rhymes...

Answer 10

It's very sweet

Answer 11

I have a daughter. I used to give her poetry like this from the time she was an infant. Even before. She grew up to be a writer, although not a poet.

This will be treasured by the little girl. Tell Mom to begin reading it to her now. The child will understand and all small children relate to poetic rhythm.

Answer 12

I have a 5 year old girl, and I wrote her a poem when she was 3, so this is really, really good. Trust me I'm M.V.P. (mommy versed poetess)

Answer 13

See, I told you you'd be somebody else today, but your speaker would "still have an immensely, huge heart".