Question:

Communication Problems?

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My husband and I have communication problems. No matter what I say or start to say if it "sounds" like it might be something he doesn't want to discuss he cuts me off before I can finish and proceeds to yell at me. We've tried working it out, but like I said, it's pretty difficult when he jumps to conclusions and starts going off. I don't know what to do anymore. I am very close to walking out. On top of this, we also have a barely existant s*x life. And that too is something we can't fix because we can't communicate. I have mentioned counseling but he refuses. This is no one's business but ours and he won't go and if I make him he won't participate. It seems as long as our topics are boring, like about the weather or what's on tv everything is fine. Once bills, money, children (he wants them, and tells people we're trying but we have no s*x) work or anything substantial that we need to talk about comes up, he yells at me. I mean yells. Like I killed his puppy and he wants to kill me yells at me. I think this is a tactic he's used to make people shut up in the past. And it's working but I am leaving I think. Here's today's fight: I say we should talk about…. And I am cut off… he begins yelling at me that he doesn’t want to hear it, he's not doing this… I asked him why he couldn't let me finish but he continued yelling about how he KNOWS where I am going with it and he thinks I am a dum as$. Shut up Dum As*… why don't you sleep with someone else since all you're concerned with is sex… why not let some loser like you used to date f*** you since that’s all you care about. When I kept saying shut up because it's stupid, he's yelling the neighbors can hear, and what he's saying is no where near any topic even on our minds he just contined. Telling me I need a psychiatrist because if things don't go my way I throw a tantrum. Then he said HE paid for a vacation we recently went on and I have no idea why he even mentioned it.. I had to leave so I kept ignoring him but he kept all this up. When I did leave he started calling me… he was so sorry. He didn't mean any of it. I told him I really want to leave him. Enough is enough. He keeps saying we can work it out… but I really don't want to anymore. Any advice? How do you even deal with someone who does this without making yourself crazy? We live in a house in my name only that belonged to my parents. If I move, he can't take it over because it's rent controlled. He told me he's not leaving I have to. I have began looking and made some appts already… but he's going to be evicted anyway when they find I no longer live there and they aren't going to accept his signature on the lease. So… my question… what the h e l l is his problem and how to get it to stop or at least get him to leave?

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  1. Take a look back at the "book" you just wrote. Count how many times you said "I". You're a little self-centered and focused on what he's NOT doing.

    I used to have that issue. When I started focusing on what I was doing wrong and needed to change, not what he's doing wrong... strangely enough, things drastically improved!

    Try it! Your efforts can't always make everything better, but it can change your perspective and in time he might follow suit.


  2. I can't believe he has the gaul to talk to you like that and then turn around and expect to be forgiven.....gimme a break!

    He has NO respect for you !!

    You're going to give lose your self respect if you allow this to continue.  Please tell me you don't want to have children with him.

  3. its possible he could be a sociopath. Look up that online. All they do is think about themselves, call u names, cheat, steal, manipulate others and so on and so on! Your guy sounds sorta manipulative to me. He wont let u talk but if u want to leave then he apologizes! Thats just really weird!

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