Competitive mothers...?

Question

does anyone else have a problem with extremely competitive mothers that always want to compare babies? whether its your friends, family, complete strangers at the grocery store? i absolutely can't stand it. when my daughter was 6 months every one said that's when their baby started to walk. same thing at 7 and 8 months. now that she is 9 months i've been informed by complete strangers that their kids were walking, talking, and potty trained at 9 months. i know this is all possible -but not for everyone. anyone else want to share their frustrating experiences with competitive moms?

Answer 1

My 14-month-old son rarely sleeps through the night.  However, sleeping through the night or being an early walker or talker has absolutely *nothing* to do with raising a good person.  That's what really counts!  "Oh, that's nice" is all the response that any of these crazy competitive, probably made-up stories deserve.

Answer 2

I just smile and say, "Isn't it funny how they all do their own thing when their ready?"

Answer 3

I think they are stupid, and fake. My kids didn't walk until they were 15/16 months old. Who cares, they walk fine now. My boys were not fully potty trained until they were 3/4. None of them wear diapers now. My girls breastfed until they were 18 months, by boys didn't want to work for it, so they got a bottle. Those women probably work and they have to come up with something to make themselves feel better. I'm still waiting for my deaf son to talk so others can understand him. Our children are all unique special individuals.

Answer 4

Well, as it happens, my daughter learned to walk in the womb.  Before she left the hospital she was reciting her ABC's and counting to 100.  Now that she's 3, she's applying for elite colleges . . .

LOL!  I know what you mean!  

I asked a similar question not too long ago:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Except I titled it, "Bragging Moms?"

Yeah, its annoying.  I never do it to other mothers.  I like to think that my childs awesome.ness just inspires competitiveness in others ;-) maybe its the same for you.

Answer 5

I think that some mothers are just excited to talk about there babies. I don't think they really mean to hurt anyones feelings. But I do know what you mean! I was out to lunch with my in laws and my daughter, and there was a woman at the restaurant who had a daughter the same age as mine. My daughter was running around,and hers couldn't walk. She said to her daughter jokingly, see you have to learn how to walk like that. My mother in law jumped in, and said my kids all walked at 10 months. I'm sure it wasn't what the mother needed to hear. I didn't say anything because every kid is different. I personally don't think my mother in law should have said anything, but I know she didn't mean it to sound mean in any way.  

Answer 6

They're the worst!  

Want to hear an awful story about this kind of behavior?  I have a 2 1/2 year old nephew, who I am with a lot and take everywhere with me..we laugh that I am mommie #2 and his mom is mommie #1.

Well the baby is small for his age and has cerbal palsey, but he's a tough guy and tries to do EVERYTHING on his own just like every 2 1/2 year old - but he still can't walk (not 100% sure he ever will...but our fingers are crossed and the doctors haven't ruled it out.)

When he's over my house, crawling all over the place and getting into everything, people naturally ask how old he is.

When I say 2 1/2, they say "And, he's STILL not walking???"

When I explain he has CP a usual response I will get is "But they really should be walking at 2 1/2; my son was potty trained by then."

I'm like  "HELLO, I just told you he has a nuerlogical diease."  He's in theraphy twice a day 5 days a week (speech and physical.)  

I swear this has been said to me about 10 times in the last few months!!

It makes me want to cry or punch the person!  Like this kid wouldn't  run down the street like a mad man if he could.  

Answer 7

those are usually the people that are jealous...that may be true that they can do all of that but dont worry...moms always think there kid is better than everyone else! it happens just brush it off

Answer 8

Ive started to put this stuff in one ear and out the other. I think that it is something that you learn after awhile. My son is his own person and is going to grow at his own rate.

Answer 9

The main thing I always heard was how big my daughter was and it used to irritate the c**p out of me because sometimes people would say it in a way that implied she was TOO big or overweight.  I was happy that she was so healthy so I didn't care what their opinion was.  Better big and healthy than underweight. When they would comment rudely on how big she was I would just smile politely and wait for them to go away.

Answer 10

I can't stand parents like that!!!! My sister in law is like that! Arghh makes me mad thinking about it lol They don't understand that every baby is different.  

Answer 11

Yes!!! I can't stand the constant nagging!! People comparing the things their babies did and mine "should" be doing. I mean what baby actually walks at 6 months?? I've never seen any... My daughter is 10 months and is crawling and can stand up on things but isn't walking yet. Someone just told me i need to get her out of diapers lol it's very annoying! Also i was told that since it's natural sugar she can have as much as she wants, if someone says that and then tries to give you parenting tips or advice they obviously have no idea what they're talking about. I've just learned to ignore it as best i can but sometimes it is very aggravating!

Answer 12

yes i cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i deal with the same thing all the time.

Answer 13

I know!!! I hate it!!!

The thing is that it seems that they do not understand that EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT!!!  I don't care anyways, my baby is MY BABY, so they can do with their own whatever they want!!

Just ignore them... bah!

Answer 14

OMG

My sister and I were due the same day and ended up having our babies a week apart from each other.  She is 12 years old than me, I'm 24 and she's 36, my son is way more advanced then hers in different ways and her's is way more advanced in different ways too.  AND I DON'T CARE!  She is always comparing and it is really annoying.  I just smile and say "well, they are different people" but it is really annoying.  I haven't even talked to her in over 2 weeks because she is always comparing, I can't take it any more!  

Answer 15

I know what you mean!  It seems like no matter what there is always somebody telling you their baby did this or that so much sooner.  Whatever....I don't worry too much as long as she is reaching the milestones she is supposed to reach.

Answer 16

I run into it on occasion.  Typically, I get it from parents who are insecure in their child-rearing abilities, and need to validate themselves by pointing out what their child did or does "better".  

Most of the time, I suspect these people are lying anyhow.  Good, seasoned mommies know that you can't judge parenting skills, or a baby, by when they reach what milestone, and good moms don't waste their time with that nonsense.

Don't sweat it.  In particularly annoying instances, you can always smile and say in a sickeningly sarcastic tone of voice "Ohhh!  That must mean you're a really great mom then!"

Answer 17

I just think there are a lot of moms these days emphatically saying in not so many words "Look at me, look what I can do, aren't I a good mom"  I don't even know what a "good" mom is anymore.  I think  that the proof is in the pudding and the pudding is your child.  

Our children do not exist to make us look good anyway.  They need to let go of their own egos and just let their kids be kids or they are going to have a complex!

Answer 18

Those are people that treat their children like show ponies....."look what she can do".  Thankfully I haven't encountered alot of them but I would never validate their neurotic competition by saying everything my son does.

Answer 19

I always get people like that lol its very annoying! my moms friend told me her grandkids were crawling at four months and she started telling me i needed to give my son some chicken so he can chew on it because thats what she did with her kids. Sometimes its hard to believe i mean a 6month old walking seems kind of unbelievable....

EDIT: kelly m i know exactly what your talking about i have a big boy and everyone always says omg he's so big like its a bad thing it annoys me. They scare me into thinking he's going to be big his whole life

Answer 20

We in the south (USA) have a saying, "Well bless your/their hearts" It means lots of things. Like "oh your full of c**p, or yeah your baby walked talked and chewed gum at 2 months, etc." Basically it means what ever stupid they thay are saying is just that. You know its stupid and so should they. saying something sweet and meaning they are nuts works for us!!

Good luck, mom. I'll tell you the truth. All babies are perfect for themselves and the family they have. As for the other nuts who must tell you how behind your baby is, "well, bless their hearts."

Answer 21

I agree with you, my own sister does this to me, she thinks that because she has 2 kids that are older than mine she is so much better than me and my daughter. I love my sister dont get me wrong but she needs to realize that she is no better than me.

People like to brag about their children, thats normal but to come across that one baby is better than another is wrong.