Complaining parent-her child plays too much at school. She's 3!?

Question

I had a parent leave a not on my desk. She has a problem with her child playing too much at school. IT"S PRESCHOOL. How can I show her that current research shows that dramatic play is important to her language development? This parent basically thinks her child should be learning Arabic and taking Biology already.

THANKS

Answer 1

Remind her that "play is a child's work." You might also invite her to come in to observe the class, during which time you could point out all of the skills that the child is gaining through play.  

Some people are ridiculous!!

Answer 2

tell her that her child is only suppose to learn abc and 123 THE MOST! at preschool gosh how much stress does she really want on her child then after that tell her that if she doesnt agree to this than she can homeschool her child

Answer 3

Get a developmental psych textbook out from your first year course and show her.

Answer 4

ask how much she plays and what she plays at home and than ask mom what she learns when she does this at home.  Have her come in for a day as a teachers helper to see for her self what learning takes place during play.  throwing school rules and stats etc wont impress this mom she has to see to believe.  Also remember there's always going to be one parent complaining about something

Answer 5

Children learn through play...pretend play, playing games, or active playing. When children are having fun they are open and interested. Children learn through play because they are engaged in what they are doing.

Please print this article for the parent..

http://www.scholastic.com/earlylearner/a...

and also this poem I used to give out at the beginning of the school year...

"JUST PLAYING"

When I'm building in the block room,

Please don't say I'm "Just playing."

For, you see, I'm learning as I play,

About balance, I may be an architect someday.

When I'm getting all dressed up,

Setting the table, caring for the babies,

Don't get the idea I'm "Just Playing."

I may be a mother or a father someday.

When you see me up to my elbows in paint,

Or standing at an easel, or molding and shaping clay,

Please don't let me hear you say, "He is Just Playing."

For, you see, I'm learning as I play.

I just might be a teacher someday.

When you see me engrossed in a puzzle or some "playing" at my school,

Please don't feel the time is wasted in "play."

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning to solve problems and concentrate.

I may be in business someday.

When you see me cooking or tasting foods,

Please don't think that because I enjoy it, it is "Just Play."

I'm learning to follow directions and see the differences.

I may be a cook someday.

When you see me learning to skip, hop, run, and move my body,

Please don't say I'm "Just Playing."

For, you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning how my body works.

I may be a doctor, nurse, or athlete someday.

When you ask me what I've done at school today,

And I say, "I just played."

Please don't misunderstand me.

For, you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work.

I'm preparing for tomorrow.

Today, I am a child and my work is play.

:o)

Answer 6

if you work for a school, tell her the school's philosophy of learning and age appropriate activities for a three year old. at that age, they're too young for fine motor skills like writing, and they most likely are just learning the abc's and simple phonics. explain at that age, playing IS learning, through dramatic play, through role-playing, through arts and crafts -- this is how a three year old best learns. also, my son's school emphasizes relational learning -- getting along, sharing, taking turns, and how for a three year old, this is one of the most important skills they can learn that year.

Answer 7

Make the games educational. make sure the child learns facts as she/he plays.

Answer 8

I am sad to say that you are in a catch 22 and that poor child is going to be the loser.

Most parents who 'complain' about what their child is or is not doing are the ones who are expecting more than what that child is able to do at certain stages.

While those of us with a 'stable head and clear brain' know and realize that dramatic play,imaginary friends and tall tales are all avenues that a child will take on his/her developmental journey, there are still the 'WANNABE' parents who feel that if little Johnny or Sara can't keep up with Whaheem who started talking when he was 6 months old and doing Algebra at 1yr then they will be flipping burgers at Burger Rama instead of supporting mommy and daddy by the time they are 16.

WANNABE parents are parents who did very well in school (straight A, Honor Roll, skipped grades) , and tend to follow the 'IN' crowd or the 'NOW' trends....".if you start showing your baby flashcards when  they are 24hrs old and talk in grown-up talk instead of baby talk and constantly bombard them with things from the grown-up world and tell them that playing with dolls or makeing cute creations out of playdough is not how they get ahead in life", then the child becomes nerotic and will either committ suicide,dropout of school,become pregnant or get a high paying job and start embezzeling funds (not a guarantee but a higher percentage). These are the parents who berate their child for getting a A- or B ( "you'll never be accepted to a good college if you keep getting grades like that") or yell at a 2 yr old for having an accident ("you're old enough to hold it, that was a $80 outfit and it's Dryclean only" or my all time favorite "People will think you're a cripple for going to the bathroom in your clothes and I will not be shamed that way.")

So while you can go ahead and 'show' mom all the studies on how dramatic play is important to little Sara, you should realize that you may just be talking to a brickwall.

Those of us in the 'Real world' of Barbies,Fairies,Unicorns and playdough creations will simply be smiling proudly when it's our child and not theirs that gets the CEO position.

Answer 9

Have her come in and observe one day...while she is observing let her know all the age appropriate things that her child is learning at any given time.  Such as cooperation, letters, numbers, etc...

Answer 10

I would give her an overview of your school and if she doesn't like how you run your school then she might consider moving her daughter to a more academic type of school.

Answer 11

Give her some literature to read about how important it is for a child to be a "child".  For goodness sakes, she's only 3!  If this is her first child, tell her in a blink of an eye, she'll be 13, then 30 and she should play as much as she wants at 3!  That's one way kids learn - by playing and using their imagination.  Not many kids today have much of an imagination anymore, with all the video games, after school activities, homework, etc.

Answer 12

see if there is anything on universalpreschool.com to show her.  Crazy Lady!!!

Answer 13

Show her the research.

She may really not know how important play is to developing young minds.  Show her information that playing IS how children learn.

And, I bet that your kids don't spend all day playing.  I bet you also have storytime.  And other activities like that.   Help this parent get a complete picture of you her child spends their time with you.

And, if at the end of all that mom still isn't satisfied, perhaps you should recommend that she find a different school.  Not because her child isn't welcome and loved with you, but because there may possibly be another place that would meet mom's needs and desires better.

Answer 14

Give her the preschool prospective which should outline what the school wishes to achieve and which she should have read.  In all honesty, you will always find a 'pushy mum', one that expects her child to be a little Einstein.....bet she doesn't know that Einstein was in fact very slow and often labelled a dunce!

Answer 15

t'kit ez, a great poem for a classroom! I see in your question you mention Arabic. is this child a foreign-student? (recent immigrant family?) other cultures place a high value on education early. Do you have lessons that can show the parent what the child is learning in the dramatic area? Have you discussed what the parent expects? and discuss what is 'play' for preschoolers? If mom knows what her child is learning, then she may feel more comfortable in class. If the difference is cultural, then maybe you can offfer her child a couple of more challenging tasks.