Complicated situation?

Question

So I have this best friend that is a guy. And I started liking him. And he told me that he liked me. Well over this summer we started getting kind of serious and he even told be he loved me. Well I don't know what happened. Maybe it was the fact that I never got to see him or maybe I just got scared or something. But I dumped him.

Well then when school started again the feelings I had for him came back and I really want to go out with him. And I know he likes me still because he told my best friend.

Well that night that I was gonna ask my best friend to tell him that I like him she told me that she likes him. So now I don't know how to tell her that I still like him. Or that I want to go out with him with out it sounding to her like I am just going out with him because she likes him or something

HELP?

Answer 1

I understand why you feel uneasy about the situation.  I think you should talk with him first and if you really both care about one another still then let your best friend know what she was not aware of , tell her you did not want to hurt her when she mentioned she now likes him. If she is truly your best friend I am sure everything will work out just fine. If you don't talk this out with your ex you will have this on your mine for quite sometime, so not to have any regrets just don't waste anymore time and do it.  Good luck.

Answer 2

just talk to him about it. like you like him, and your best f. also likes him.

Answer 3

shoot id me mad if my best friend said liked my recent ex!

shse needs to at least give you time to get over him & not just all of the sudden be like hey i like ur ex!  

Answer 4

Look I am sorry but you gotta tell her like

that you are really into him & pretty much talk

it out. & it sounds like u are lovin him so if u do

talk to her. you will feel sick if she went out with him.

Answer 5

That really is complicated.  Well the most important thing you have to do is figure out what it is you like about your best friend.  If it's just physical attraction (lust), forget about it now.  Lust fades quickly once you have him, and lust by itself always pulls you in the wrong directions.  Lust is simply your genes acting like a little kid and throwing a fit until it gets a new toy.  Yet once a new toy comes along, the other gets tossed away in pursuit of another.  Unfortunately following lust, the toy could throw you away, which would hurt horribly.  And if you threw your best friend away, you may lose his friendship because of the hurt and guilt.  If you just like his body, don't do it, one of you will get hurt.  If you really think that there is a lower, deeper connection between you two (and he feels the same), then you should take this seriously.  If you care about him and his happiness almost more than you do your own happiness, you should get involved.  After all, your friend might just be lusting, and you might be able to save him from that hurtful relationship.  But before you even think to start the relationship with him again, you have to uncover your reasons for dumping him.  Most likely if you never got to see him and you were both "getting serious" a little too fast, you were afraid.  You might be afraid that you won't be able to return his feelings.  You might be afraid that this relationship won't last.  I'll bet the thing you're really afraid of is getting hurt or getting him hurt.  Well there is one thing you will come to terms with: in life, people get hurt.  But not trying is the worst thing you can do, because you might miss out on the best possibility of your future (read quotes on bottom).  Also, you already hurt him from the break up and it probably had a toll on yourself to know that you hurt your best friend, so you both get hurt if you follow the path of fear, and you will never know what could have been.  So if you're willing to take the risks and work on your relationship, great.  If you really think there's too much of a possibility that you'll just get scared again and hurt both of you again with a break up, don't do anything.  Now about your female best friend.  The very worst thing you could do is keep secrets about this sort of thing.  If you don't tell or ask her and just go out with him, she'll feel betrayed and upset and hurt.  If you don't tell her and she ends up going out with him, you'll feel a sting every time you see them and you'll feel tortured inside (I know, I've done both.)  The very best thing to do is talk to her about it.  Tell her that you like him and tell her what it is you like about him and find out what it is she likes about him.  Decide what to do together, but don't leave your male best friend completely out of this.  He is definitely involved in this too, and he should have his say too.  Communication is the key to happiness.  If you guys come to an agreement and it turns out you don't like it as much as you thought, tell them.  Maybe you can make a new one.  Be honest though, so you'll all end up happy, but don't forget everyone needs to compromise.   The good thing you have going for you is that he's admitted he likes you.  Thus you have better chances.  And please, if you want to tell someone something as important as "I like ___", do it in person to the person.  That way, you wouldn't hurt your friend who might like him too, and also you'd seem more admirable and confident because you were brave enough to do that.  Plus, if it ever is a rejection as an answer, it'll be much more kind and sincere in person.  You might walk away with a smile.  I've had people walk away with smiles twice.  Later I decided to go out with one of them (meaning a no isn't always forever).  Rejection isn't really as harsh as you think.  So to summarize, if you really do like the guy (not just lust), talk to both him and your friend, be open about how you feel and tell them to be too.  You'll hopefully come to a conclusion that will make everyone happy.  Good luck!!!

Answer 6

Whatever happen to the truth? Let her know how you feel so she doesn't think you are going behind her back. Let the guy make the decision for himself. He maynot want you back, but at least the choice will be his and you still have your friend. In the future be careful of how you treat others feelings.