Confidence Builders for 4 yr old?

Question

I have a child in my care who is beginning to realize that her 3 yr old brother is catching on to cognitive tasks much quicker than she and it's becoming noticable that she is getting disappointed when she can't "answer correctly" or complete a task. I am interested in confidence builder activities since it's starting to cause her to not even try some tasks. It's also a tricky thing since I'm doing a preschool program this fall and will have her brother and found out that they want her to come back to me for the fall instead of staying with Head Start. Though I don't "compare" the children we, the 4yr old's current preschool teacher and myself, believe it is being done unintentionally at home

Answer 1

you can do show and tell on Fridays, she can bring something she likes and talk about it in front of every one, and you cant go wrong on what she is going to say and after she is don complement her on how a great job she did.

Answer 2

Be sure to praise and find things she can do. Reinforce the activities and do them often that she can do.

Answer 3

I see it in some of the children I work with. Encourage her to do things with you one on one and "over - praise" her when she does it. Whether or not it's done entirely good or not. Make sure you address the behaviour and not her as a person. Her parents may not be intentionally doing at home but do they realize they are leaving her out? Have you asked her parents generally how she is at home? Have you brought it up with the centre's supervisor about what you have noticed? Try to talk to her parents to say that "you've noticed" the changes in her behaviour. Remember when talking to parents about their child you should alway follow a negative comment with 2 positive comments so that the parents don't feel that you are "picking on" them as parents or on either of their children. Encourage each parent to spend some one on one time with the 4 year old to help her remember that she (the child) is still very important and loved.

Answer 4

Positive reinforcment, when ever she does something it could be as simple as through away something after her self tell her good job, or bring it to the entire classes attention look at so and so she is sharing or she is being quiet and waiting. THat will encourage her to want to learn and do more in the class.

Answer 5

Dude , Too much too read

Answer 6

I think that the "catching on to cognitive tasks quicker..." caught my attention. It seems, from your description, that there is some sort of "goal" that you are focusing on? In my opinion frustration like this exists because a "product" or a "correct solution" isn't being met. I think this could be relieved by your manipulative's/cognitive area having less adult involvement. At this stage of development they are all about discovery and sampling how things work. Perhaps too much emphasis has been put on the "goal" and not on the process.  I think many of us feel defeated when ,while trying to discover and enjoy something,   measurement is put into the equation. The children can interact and problem solve with age appropriate manipulative's in a intrinsic way.  I can say that when left alone to explore and experiment they make incredible cognitive advances that might not be so easily measurable.  I am glad you are investigating this.  What are they  not answering correctly at 3 or 4? Is this like a academic pre-k?  If it is ......this type of behavior will continue..frustration, competition.  I would just loosen up a bit on the academics and have more exploration. When this 4 year old can make and own discoveries on their own the confidence will build.

Answer 7

Find some activities that she is really good at and start with those to build her confidence level before working on harder tasks with her brother (arts and crafts, physical activities, etc.)  Also, if possible, try to spend some one-on-one time with her that the brother doesn't participate in.  This will give her some time to focus on herself and her skills instead of worrying about what her brother is doing.  

This is a hard situation.  I see it when I work with children in the home.  Sometimes it can be a big motivator to get the older child to start doing things but in other children it can really damage their self-esteem. At least you noticed it and can start to work on the problem now before it gets too bad.  Good Luck.

Answer 8

awww poor little thing - I have seen children just give up coz their sibling does better and they think they can never measure up. good for you for noticing!  I agree with most of the others - ask her the answer when you know she knows the answer and let her do activities she can already do.  Lots of praise and positive reinforcements. I have a feeling this child is going to be just fine because you genuinely care.  Good luck.

Answer 9

They need to be seperated or she will always live in his shadow. Try giving her tasks or asking her questions that u know she will find easy to answer. This will start to build her confidence as she begins to feel like she is gettin things 'right'. Offer her lots of praise when she does try tasks, even if she doesn't do it 'right'. Spend time talkin to her, ask her about herself, what does she like to do at home?, what is her favourite story/cartoon? etc etc so she feels that she is valued/important and u are interested in her.

Well done for noticing.