Confidence issue with my 10 yr old?

Question

I have 4 boys age 13, 13 (twins), 10 and 8. My 10 yr old is the middle child (between the twins and youngest). He has everything going for him. He gets straight A's in school, has common sense and is witty and observant. He's althletic and really good at baseball and also runs on the school cross country team. He has a lot of friends and is very mature for his age.

YET, he is always putting himself down for the littlest things. If he misses one ball in baseball he will pout all night saying he stinks. He thinks he is overweight but I do not. He is a solid kid with a little bit of a gut but the doctor says he is fine and when he grows upward in puberty that will even out. He is turning 11 next month and he weighs 88lbs and is 4ft 7. He doesn't look overweight at all but he says at PE when he changes his shirt everyone stares. I think it's in his head.

Answer 1

Tell him that from now on, he has to say something positive before he says something negative.  So we won't be able to say he's "fat."  He'll have to think of describing himself in a different way.  You have to let him know that everyone is different and you love him fully as he is.

Answer 2

he might be heading into puberty,he becoming more self conscious you need to reassure him that you love him try spending quality alone time with him doing things he enjoys on a regular basis.praise him tell him how important he is try talking to him about he feels your his mom he loves you but is feeling very confused

Answer 3

Almost sounds as if he's being picked on or put down at school. Which would explain the get an insult in quick before someone else does!

Also seeking reassurance for what others say about him!

But i maybe wrong!

You also sound like a great parent who is doing everything you can for your son!!

Maybe talk to teachers or have a heart to heart with him over a milkshake!

Answer 4

I know you said you are a middle child, but it sounds like classic middle child syndrome. I would suggest talking to the counselor at his school if they have one. Also, you should read The Birth Order Book and Siblings Without Rivalry. (All parents should read these anyway).

I would start there, and see how things go. This may be a phase and it may pass. When did it start?

And...yes, you sound like a great mom!